To Have and to Force....

One advantage of walking everywhere in Chicago is that I can easily eavesdrop on people's conversations.  (I'm mean, c'mon, if they're going to talk that loud, it's fair game.)  Today I heard a man complaining to his co-worker that he has no free time.  He said after work, he has to take his kids to sports games or practices 3 days a week.  Then he said, "And now Deb has me volunteering one night a week!  Can you believe it?"  So this poor gentleman is committed to being busy at least 4 nights a week, thanks in part to his wife.

It got me thinking about the things we do, sometimes by force, for our spouses or girlfriends/boyfriends.  Then I thought, hey wait a minute...Mike doesn't do things just because I insist!  He's getting away scott free!  For example, I really wanted to take dancing lessons before our wedding.  For years I've envisioned us wowing our guests with our ballroom dancing skills.  I actually pictured in my mind Mike picking me up and lifting me over his head Dirty Dancing style.  How cool would that be??

But he said no.  Trust me, I asked for months and months, and he always said no.  He said he didn't want to look like a "pansy."  I insisted that Max and Derrick on Dancing with the Stars are totally hot, but he didn't agree.  I finally decided it would be silly to force him to go because he wouldn't enjoy it, so I gave up.  I knew our no rhythm, 9th grade homecoming dance style would just have to do.

So what am I doing wrong?  How can I force him to do things?  (I think it's what you do once you get married.)  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.