Too much coffee?

Have you ever seen a woman get out of her car along the interstate, scream obscenities, wave her fist in anger and then drop her shorts and panties and start peeing along the side of the road for all to see? Yep, I didn't think so.

This past Saturday, my mom and I were driving back from Jackson, Tennessee after our week away in the country. As we were driving along I-40, traffic got really backed up and for more than an hour we puttered between 0-2 miles per hour. Admittedly, it was maddening. Finally we saw an exit and decided to drive down the emergency lane to get it to it. We got behind another car that was doing the same thing. Apparently a semi-truck driver thought we were trying to cut him off, so he pulled the truck over and blocked us. I could see the woman in front of us and she didn't handle this road block well. She grabbed the steering wheel and stared shaking her body violently. (Ironically enough, she had room to get past the truck, but women never have a sense of how big/small their car is, right?)

The woman, who is probably in her late 30's or early 40's, then turned around to our car and started yelling, "Stop following me!" Okay lady, we were not trying to get to the same fun party you were, we were just trying to get out of traffic too. My mom decided to get away from the crazy kitty and ducked back into traffic. As we passed the woman, I saw her grab her door handle and she flew the door open with fury. I immediately hit the locks on our car, thinking she was probably going to attack us. She then started waving her fist, yelled and then pulled down her shorts and granny panties and started peeing along the side of the road. I saw white. A lot of white butt. It was ewwie. Funny enough, the two men in her car just stared straight ahead and didn't say a word.

Here's my mom. She did not pee along the interstate.

The woman then got back in her car, pulled up a little bit and jumped back out and started yelling at the truck driver while waving her now peed-on fist. It was the dang weirdest thing. Apparently she really had to pee and was beyond upset at the truck driver for not letting her pass.

Rule number one: Never get in the way of a woman that has had too much coffee. Rule number two: Take a picture! Damn you Jeannie, you missed a great Facebook status update. Rule number three: If the woman in your car hops out and pulls down her undies so she can pee pee, just stare straight ahead and don't ask questions. It's best.

Miss USA 2002 reunion

Well, that sure was fun.

A couple of weekends ago I went to Las Vegas for a Miss USA 2002 10-year reunion. I was Miss Wyoming back in the day, so I got together with some of the other hotties from that year for a weekend of dinner, drinks, pool time, dressing up and well, a little red carpet time. It was so stinkin' fun!

What's funny is how many of my friends and classmates saw pictures posted on Facebook and told me they had no idea I was Miss Wyoming. I guess that's good that I'm not trying too hard to live in my glory days. (Although I'm pretty sure I told everyone I met that weekend and it may or may not have gotten me free drinks).

I really can't believe it's been 10 years since I packed up my sequins gowns and headed to Gary, Indiana for three weeks of rehearsals and being wined and dined by Donald Trump at the Trump hotel. I also can't believe we got to go to Gary, Indiana in February when the pageant is now held in Las Vegas in June. Hmm.

Through Facebook and the reunion it's been so fun reconnecting and seeing what these incredible women have done. Some are on television or commercials, some are public speakers, some are moms, some have even gone on to become Mrs. titleholders, in fact one is now Mrs. United States. It was also great being able to catch up but knowing thankfully, I no longer have to compete next to these beauties in a swimsuit.

A big thank-you to Montana for setting it all up. Meredith--you worked hard to make sure we all felt like princesses. And a big shout-out to Nebraska, New Jersey, Missouri, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas and the other Miss Wyoming's I met from other years. It's pretty cool knowing women only get more gorgeous and amazing in their 30's.