It's official!

It's official!
David Stubbs Photography

Monday, May 31, 2010

Southwest Airlines rocks

Mike and I just got back from Columbus, Ohio for wedding #1 during our crazy, busy summer.  We flew Southwest Airlines...and I have to say, they really are the best way to fly.  Sure, I nearly died on Monday during a very turbulent flight (see earlier posts), but I still only paid $79 for my flight and I got a free drink.

Southwest has it figured out--they offer low-cost flights, their average turnaround time at the gate is 30 minutes versus the more typical hour and a half, and they are often voted number one for customer satisfaction.

And then there are the workers.....have you seen how stinkin' happy they are?

More often than not, Southwest flight attendants are laughing and smiling with their co-workers.  If you want a drink refill, no problem!  Or an extra bag of peanuts?  It's yours!  Besides the great customer satisfaction,  they are super funny.  Here are some real comments I've heard during Southwest flights...

"Welcome to Columbus, Ohio.  If you have a connecting flight, well, good luck catching that." (So true)

"If needed during a water evacuation, a life vest will drop down.  To inflate, pull on the cord.  If that doesn't work, blow into the tube.  If that still doesn't work, well.....good luck!"  (Ha!  That's a great way to make nervous fliers laugh)

"If cabin pressure drops, oxygen masks will drop down.  Please put yours on first, and then help your screaming husband."  (Love it)

"Please put on your oxygen mask first, and then help your child.  If you have more than one child, pick the one with the most potential."  (Okay, that made me pee a little bit.  Funny!)

Southwest-keep doing what you're doing, because you're way better than any other airline.

Friday, May 28, 2010

People Need to Quit with the Lawsuits

Why are we so lawsuit crazy?  Seriously people, stop acting dumb.  A Michigan woman is suing United Airlines after she fell asleep on her flight, apparently didn't wake up when it landed, and was left on board for a few hours.  When Ginger McGuire woke up and realized what happened, she "paced the aisle for about 15 minutes when the locked door opened" and police asked to see her I.D.  She claims is was "horrifying" and is now asking for up to $75,000 for emotional distress, negligence, breach of contract and false imprisonment. Seriously?  False imprisonment?  Emotional distress?  That's $5,000 per minute for the time she was trying to get out.

My guess, Ginger?  This is stemming from a larger issue.  Perhaps you're still really mad at your parents for naming you Ginger.  Or you're mad that when you finally woke up, it wasn't next to Brad Pitt like you were dreaming about.

Now, I agree, it's weird that workers didn't see her, but look at this picture.  She can't even stay awake for her news conference!

Here's the deal people....even if you sue someone for a bunch of money, you're still going to be unhappy and looking for something to make you feel better.  Me?  I prefer to blog about frustrating situations.  As soon as I wrote about that blond line-cutter at a recent book signing I went to, I instantly felt better. 

Hmm, maybe I should have sued Border's for emotional distress....

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Getting married to someone with the same last name? Weird

I was looking through Mike's hometown newspaper in Canton, Ohio, trying to figure out how I'll put together our wedding announcement.  I was reading through other wedding announcements, and here is was struck me. 

* One person in the relationship is always better looking than their partner.  Ouch, I know, but so true.  There are some couples you look at and wonder how they landed their spouse, knowing they clearly married "up."  People often wonder how Mike landed me.  I tell them it was the offer of living in a 660-square foot apartment.  Drink!  (Confused?  Please see earlier blog posts.)
* A lot of times, the women in the relationship are amazing, like doctors or lawyers, and the groom is listed as a professional underwater water hockey player or a freelance Drama teacher.  You might as well say, "John is making a career out of spending his wife's money."  Or the reverse is true, and under education it should say, "Shawna went to college to get a B.A. , but all she really wanted was a M.R.S.

Here is what struck me as really odd couple had the same last name before they were married.  I'm not talking about a common name like Smith or Jones, it's Rossi.  So they were listed as the Rossi-Rossi wedding.  And they both grew up in Ohio.  And they lived one town away growing up... 
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  They're totally related and just don't know it!  I can tell you one thing--if Mike's last name was Crofts, we would not be walking down the aisle in 37 days.  Sure, if we were related our wedding list would be much smaller, and taking family pictures would be easier, but still, that's just gross.

Rossi-Rossi wedding  

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Loud Cell Phone Talkers=The Worst

When I flew back from Wyoming Monday night, everything was delayed because of terrible winds in Denver and the awful tornadoes in Nebraska (I nearly died--see yesterday's post.)

The good news is that I was able to catch an earlier flight via standby, but my bag wasn't so lucky.  That meant I arrived at Midway at 9 p.m., but my bag didn't get there until 1 a.m.

As I was waiting, I found a quiet little spot in the corner to relax.  As you can tell from the pic, there was no one around.
Then "Mr. I'm So Cool On My Cell Phone, I'm Just Sure Everyone Around Me Wants to Hear What I'm Saying," plopped down next to me.  Have you ever had this happen?  There are a million other seats, but the most annoying person ever chooses to sit next to you.  Here's a little sampling of his unneccessary and unneccessarily loud conversation.

"Yeah, I'm still working at Blockbuster right now, so I get great discounts on videos, but I still want to try the whole acting thing." (Sorry to tell him--Just because you work with movies, doesn't mean you can be in movies.)

"To get noticed, I think I'll hyphenate my name with my middle name." (Sorry to break the news--I'm pretty sure Daniel Day Lewis is famous because of his amazing ability to portray characters and not because he threw "Day" into the mix.)

He asks the person on the other end of the line, "What, you ate 18 tacos today?  What did they look like?" (Hmm, my guess?  There was meat, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes rolled up into a tortilla.  Clever, isn't it?)

"Wow, the fact that you ate 18 tacos and she still wants to make love to you is incredible!" (Okay, now we know his fat friend is getting some lovin'.  That information?  I didn't need to know.)

The moral of my story?  If you're an idiot who likes to talk about tacos and getting some lovin' really loud, find your own spot in the airport, because mine? It's taken.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Have you ever thought you might die?

Have you ever thought today might be the day you're going to die?  For me, that day was yesterday as I was flying with 130 other people over tornadoes and severe weather in Nebraska.  It got so bad, I even texted my Pops, Mom and Mike saying, "I know this sounds awful, but we're hitting really bad turbulence, so I just want you to know how much I love you."
Did that text send my family into a panic, you ask?  Nope, because it didn't go through, so I was the only one aware of my impending doom.

We've all hit turbulence, I know, so you probably think I'm just being dramatic.  But this was different...this was the kind that made our jumbo jet drop to the point that our seat belts were the only thing keeping us from hitting the overhead bins.  Women were screaming.  Men were cussing.  Babies were crying.  And me?  I was holding the hand of the little old lady next to me, throwing out f-bombs, because I knew I was never going to see my beautiful wedding or use all my wonderful Target and Macy's gift cards.  I'm pretty sure Beatrice has never heard such language.

I can't imagine what was going through the mind's of our pilots.  I was so glad Bachelor Jake Pavelka wasn't our captain, because from all the crying he's done on the Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars, I know he doesn't handle life's challenges well.

Let's just say I ended up quietly crying, and calming down with a free Miller Lite, courtesy of Southwest.  I've never been more thankful to see the lights of Chicago.  I felt much better as we landed, until I realized I have to do it all over again this Friday when we fly to Ohio for another wedding.

P.S.- To the dozens of women screaming when all this was happening, you didn't help.
And if you ever wondered if you handle stress well--you don't.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The winds of change....

In every state I've lived in, I hear people joke about how quickly the weather changes.

In Indy people would say, "Just take a spin around the track, and you'll go from sunny skies to a tornado in a Danica Patrick hot minute."
In Fort Myers, Florida people would say, "By the time you eat the 4 p.m. early bird special and drive home slowly in the left lane, the storms will be rolling in."
In Grand Junction, Colorado, "After you mosey down the Colorado river in your raft with a Coors in your hand, the rain will be a 'coming."

Clearly those people have never lived in Cheyenne, Wyoming.  Yesterday afternoon was absolutely gorgeous with temps in the 80's.  As I was sipping a Bloody Mary in a cute sundress at the Four Winds Bar with all the doors open, I was sweating.  When I got up, my dress was stuck to my legs.  Then, by the time I'd finished my second Bloody Mary, the winds were whippin' up and the temperature dropped 30 degrees.  I was now cursing the fact that all I was wearing was my cute little sundress.  Forecasters were even calling for snow in some areas last night.

So I say, in Wyoming, just take a gallop on your horse towards the sunset, and the winds will be a changin' and the snow will be riding towards ya.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Cloth Bags=Happy Earth

What is our obsession with plastic bags?  My mom and I went to the grocery store today, and the clerk bagged up our small container of sour cream in its own plastic bag.  A whole bag!  When I go to my local CVS, they put my shampoo in a plastic bag, and then put that bag in another bag!  Why does my Pantene need to be double bagged?  America has an obsession with plastic, and something needs to change.

At work I see first hand how people go through a ton of bags.  When a woman buys something small, I always ask if she just wants to throw it in her other bags or her purse.  Several times I've had women insist they need a bag, and then when I had it to them, they stuff the bag in their purse.  Recently when that happened I said, "Oh, I can give you tissue to wrap it in so you don't use a whole bag," She said, "Oh no, I want a bag."  Without thinking, I said, "Well, plastic bags are really bad for the environment, you know."  Oops, I didn't mean to force my values upon someone, but it just slipped out.

According to, we go through 1 million plastic bags a minute.  A minute!  Worse yet, many bags will pollute our earth for 1,000 years.

For years I've used reusable bags at the grocery, but I now take cloth bags with me everywhere I go.  That way when I need to buy a tub of butter, or a new top (Yes I said need, not want), I put them in my cloth bag. now has really sturdy bags that fold up really small so you can carry them in your purse.

I know I don't usually have important things to say (unless you consider spray tanning important), but this is close to my heart.  And Ladies--it's easier to hide the new clothes you bought from your husband/boyfriend if they're in a cloth bag.  Just sayin'.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Ever gotten a spray tan at home? You should!

Living in a city often has huge advantages.  You can get a taco at 3 a.m. (I recommend La Pasadita at the corner of Ashland and Division.  There are 3 on the same corner, so you never have to wait!)  You can get a mani/pedi for $45 dollars and without an appointment.  (Rural places charge $60 and you only get the pedi.)  You can also walk to your grocery store/drug store/bakery without driving.  (Warning though: Do not buy O.J. and a gallon of milk on the same trip.  After carrying it for a mile and up and down stairs, you'll want to die.)

This week I've discovered another luxury of city living.  You can get a spray tan done in your own home! 

I have another bridal shower this weekend, and I decided I wanted to trade in my pasty "Powder"ish skin for a darker, Kim Kardashian tint.  Since I can't trade in my Welsh roots for Armenian ones, I have to buy my skin coloring.  When I googled "spray tans Chicago" a bunch of places popped up, including ones that come to your door.  I clicked on "Glamour Girl" and contacted the owner, Riane.  She said she'd be at my house within an hour.  When she got there, she brought her portable sprayer and this big tent so she could spray me without getting it all over the house.  I stood there in my birthday suit + bikini bottoms (Mama always says a good girl keeps her undies on), and let Riane spray me.  She was great!  The whole thing only took about 20 minutes, and it was $45, which is less than what I've spent at salons.

So now I'm tan, in Wyoming and about to get more gifts.  Life?  It's good!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Welcome back sun!

Sun! Welcome back to the Midwest!  We have missed you!

This top picture shows our view today.  Isn't it beautiful?  There's something so magical about seeing boats on the water, even if they aren't yours (and probably never will be.)  The bottom picture shows what our view has looked like on and off for two weeks.  (More on than off, which is why I've taken to drinking at 3:30 p.m.  Hey, if it's dark outside, I feel like it's okay to drink!)

Chicago has been rainy and gloomy for days.  The
fog has been so thick, people living on floors 10 and higher haven't been able to see out of their windows.  I've worn my hair in a ponytail for 9 days straight, because with this humidity, my hair goes flat in seconds.  People have been in bad moods.
Isn't it amazing how when the weather is gloomy, you have no energy and a bad outlook on things.  People seem so annoying to me, that I don't even want to walk home from work and fight the crowds.  I have had no choice though, knowing a cab driver wouldn't waste his time on a $3.00 fare.
Now, when I wake up with the weather sunny and beautiful, I feel like I can take on the world!  Suddenly errands don't seem so monotonous and working out isn't such a chore.

Hopefully it's sunny in your neck of the woods too so you can soak it up!  (If not, try a vodka and 7-up at 3:30 p.m.  It really does help.)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Who's coming to the chapel?

Trying to figure out who's coming to your wedding is a huge pain in the butt.  Seriously, a pain.  You'd think it would be so easy and people would RSVP, but guess what?  They don't.  They avoid your e-mails like you're a tax investigator with the IRS.

For our wedding, I asked people to RSVP on-line instead of sending back a little card.  This is an effort to be green, and let's face it, it's a lot cheaper and easier.  Our deadline was May 15th.  Well, May 15th came and went, and we still hadn't heard from 50 families.  Some families have 6 people in it, so as you can imagine, that's the difference between being able to feed everyone at a reasonable price, and only being able to feed them if we sell our car.

To make matters worse, Mike's sister-in-law, Cara, is an artist and writing out the place cards with her beautiful calligraphy.  But...she's about to give birth any day now.  Like so close, if she sneezes, that baby is flying out.  So I was trying to get all the RSVP's before she puts feeding/changing/holding the baby ahead of my wedding.  Sheesh, it's so hard to find good help these days!

I guess it's Karma, though.  Every time I've moved, I've found one or two of those wedding RSVP cards in a drawer I had completely forgotten about.  Oops!  I'm sure God is now laughing because I'm getting exactly what I deserve.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

If you cut in line, you're a loser

Why does anyone over the age of 8 cut in line?  Seriously people, do you think your time is more valuable than mine?  Do you think you deserve a double cheeseburger before I do?  Do you think you're entitled to buy your cargo shorts before anyone else?

In the past 3 days, I've been cut in front of at least 4 times.  Once at McDonald's, twice at Ann Taylor Loft, and at least once at the book signing I told you about in the previous post.  I've decided instead of getting really mad at this utter lack of respect, I'd take a picture of this blond line-cutter, and post her pic for all the world to see.  (Okay, really just my immediate friends and family will see it, but it still makes me feel better.)

At the Jen Lancaster book signing, the Border's workers cleverly put tape on the ground with arrows so people could see which way to go.  This blond line-cutter (see picture), came up to me and gave me the look like I should move.  When I silently retorted back with a death look, she said, "Excuse me, I want to look at the books behind you."  So I moved out of the way, and she did look at the books...for a hot second.  Then, she cut in line.

Guess what, blond line-cutter?  Karma is a bitch, and what you dish out, you'd better be prepared to take back.  The next time we meet, I hope it's at the Pearly White Gates to heaven, and you're in line before me.  Then I'll cleverly tell you I need to ask Saint Peter something, and I'll move towards him...but then?  I'll cut in line and get to heaven before you.  That way I can enjoy Brad Pitt look-a-likes feeding me grapes without their shirts on a lot faster.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Jen Lancaster is? The best!

What are you willing to wait 2.5 hours for?  A blessing from Pope Benedict?  Bon Jovi tickets?  A port-a-potty when you really have to pee pee at the Bon Jovi concert?

For me, it's the opportunity to meet and get this awesome pic with my favorite author, Jen Lancaster.  She has been such an inspiration to me!  It's unfortunate that when it was finally my turn to meet her, I got really nervous like she was a Beatle, and couldn't get two words out.  I'm pretty sure when she complimented my business card I gave her, I said, "It's the official business card for the unemployed."  She chuckled.

I've been writing this blog pretty faithfully for about 9 months, and I'm writing a book about the ups and downs of broadcasting.  (Actually more downs than ups, which is why I needed Xanax for a time.)  I credit my writing to 3 things:  1) Mike who inspired me to write a daily blog, 2) crazy TV bosses who you'll soon read about.  Karma?  It's a bitch. And 3) Jen Lancaster, who taught me hitting bumps in the road can lead to happiness you didn't know existed.

To Jen: For signing every book for every fan, for taking pics, and listening to every terrible story (including the mother in front of me talking about her son in jail), I say thank you.  You make me laugh out loud by saying what I wish I had the courage to.

To everyone else: check out her books "My Fair Lazy," "Bitter is the New Black," and "Bright Lights, Big Ass." (Hmm, do you see my inspiration?)  Just be careful not to eat cereal when reading them, because have you ever spit out chewed Raisin Bran?  It's not pretty.

Leaving a voicemail? Pay attention to what you're saying!

Do you ever leave a voicemail, but wish more than anything, you could take it back or start over?  Some answering machines have that ability, but unfortunately most of them just leave you with the sound of silence and that little voice in your head saying, "Quit screwing up!"  Or have you ever had someone leave you a rambling message that gets cut off it's so long?  Worse yet, they call back and pick up right where they left off.  It's like their mind is telling them to quit blabbering, but their mouths won't let them. 

I left a terrible message this week for one of Mike's good friends and groomsmen, Casey, who through the years has become one of my closest friends too. (I'm including a picture of him, far left, to add a visual effect, and I picked one with WISH TV's Dave Barras to increase the stock value on this blog and my coolness.)

Casey had called me several days before, so I was returning the call.  Here's how the pathetic voicemail went down...

"Hey Case, it's Jeannie.  How are you?" (I often ask how a person is doing which I know is silly, because they can't respond and they're probably annoyed that I'm eating up their cell phone minutes.

"Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, it's just been nuts.....But a good nuts..." (Then I start nervously laughing, knowing that saying "good nuts" probably sounds dirty if you have the mind of a 4th grader like I do.)

Instead of letting it go, I continue with, "You know, deez nuts are good nuts, ha, ha!"  (Okay, now I've just made a 4th grader's joke talking about "deez nuts."  This has gone downhill quickly.)

"Well, I digress. (Finally!) Call me when you get a chance.  Love you!" (Oops, did I just tell him I loved him??  I'm in such a habit of saying I love you at the end of calls with Mike or my Mom, that I just said it again.  Now Casey surely thinks I'm a total idiot or he thinks the wedding will be awkward when I choose him over Mike.)

So, the moral of this attention when you're leaving a message, because trying to multi-task by walking your dogs, cleaning up poo, and leaving a message clearly Does. Not. Work.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Twilight success is well deserved

Okay, there's no more fighting it, I'm now a Twilight fan, and there's a good chance you are too.  Have you seen how crazy people get over Robert Pattinson or Taylor Launtner?  Housewives all over this country are holding Twilight parties and joining either "Team Robert" or "Team Taylor," depending on if they're more attracted to the quiet, sexy type or the outgoing, athletic type.  I say yes please to both!

Pattinson, Launtner, and Kristen Stewart all appeared on Oprah today, and I have to say they are downright charming.  Kristen is incredibly shy and almost insecure.  She says she knows people have extremely high expectations of her, so that's why she's careful about what she says.  Considering we all have moments of feeling like a shy, insecure hot mess, women can totally relate to her!  Robert is extremely funny, and likes to joke and make fun of himself.  And Taylor seems like a great young man who says he's never taken a drink or smoked.

It is so refreshing to see these three actors being truly sweet and not full of themselves.  I congratulate them on their success, because people like that deserve it.

Plus, what women doesn't want to fantasize about being caught in a love triangle with two hotties and never aging.  I say yes please to both!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Working at a clothing store with a shopping addiction=trouble

My name is Jeannie, and I'm a shopaholic.  There, I admitted I have a problem, so now I'm making my plea for help.  I suppose the fact that I'm working at a clothing store is not helping....that would be like an alcoholic working as a bartender.

Last Friday, I decided to make a goal of not buying any clothes for one week.  I've worked three shifts since then, and I haven't bought a thing!  Yeah!  I even put a jacket on hold, but the guilt became so intense, I put it back without buying it.  But here's my problem: we just got in one of the largest shipments of the season, full of darling leopard prints shirts and scarves, and army green linen shorts I'm pretty sure I can't live without.  Don't even get me started on the dresses.  If bubblegum pink didn't make me so darned happy...

Every morning, I wake up shaking, knowing I need a fix.  I'm trying to get buy (pun intended!) using gift cards I received from the bridal shower and my Discover card's cash back program.  But I fear it won't be enough because we're putting out all the new summer clothes tomorrow.

I just have to make it until Friday..... 

Wish me luck! 

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I love you mom!

My mom flew in last Wednesday from Wyoming, so she could go with me to Ohio for my bachelorette party and shower.  After sleeping on our couch every night in our tiny apartment, I'm pretty sure she's taken to drinking at 10 a.m.

In honor of Mother's Day (yes, I'm a few days late, but remember I was hungover on Sunday?), I'd like to share why my mom rocks.

* She's willing to sleep on a cramped couch with one to two Chihuahua's every night.
* When I'm at work, she cleans the house and organizes my shower gifts
* She never lets me pay for anything
* She's taking me to the grocery store today "to stock up on food" so Mike and I don't have to shop for awhile.  I thought this would end at 31, but thankfully, it hasn't
* She's willing to go out to a very loud club and watch her daughter do shots at her bachelorette party.  I'm sure she was proud.
* She's able to make us a filet mignon/mashed potatoes/strawberry shortcake dinner with only the ketchup and soy sauce in our fridge.  Mothers=amazing at being resourceful!

I love you mom!  Happy Mother's Day (a little late)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Bachelorette Party/Bridal Shower Extravaganza!

What a fabulous weekend!  On Saturday, Mike's family put together a lovely bridal shower for me in Vienna, Ohio, and later that night we had my first bachelorette party in Cleveland. (Yes I'm having more than one shower/bachelorette party because I've waited 31 long years for this moment, and well, I deserve it.)

That night after getting my drink and shot on, I went back to the hotel room I was sharing with my mother to finally go to bed.  I laid down but quickly realized I needed to run to the bathroom to get sick.  As soon as my tipsy legs hit the tile floor, I slipped and fell.  My mom says she heard a commotion and was clearly so worried, she stayed in bed.  My shin now has a very large goose egg on it.  Here's the thing though... I say being bruised and vomiting equals a successful last hoorah in singlehood!  (To my grandmother Mama Mays-When I say vomiting and falling, I really mean prayers before milk and cookies.)

Here were my two favorite moments from the weekend: I ran into plenty of other brides-to-be at the bar and chatted with most of them.  One told me she hated the bar we were at, "Because it was all women, so they were leaving to find a bar with more men."  Hmm...I'm wondering if she knows polygamy is frowned upon in 49 states.  (Sorry Utah!)

My second favorite moment: At the shower, an older relative asked my 8 1/2 month very pregnant future sister-in-law if she was the one getting married.  Hmm...better late than never I suppose!

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend.  I have to give a shout out to my future mother-in-law's good friend Suzette.  She a) came to my bachelorette party and totally rocked, she b) made chocolates in the shape of a man's _____well, you can probably guess and c) she's a loyal blog reader.  Thanks for everything Suzette!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Wedding gifts are? The Best!

Getting gifts is so much gosh darn fun.  Sure, giving is great too (blah, blah, blah), but getting is really the best!

I'm heading to Canton/Vienna/Cleveland Ohio this weekend for round one of bridal showers and bachelorette parties.  Mike's family wanted to throw me some shindigs in their neck of the woods.

For the wedding, he and I are registered at Crate & Barrel, Target and Macy's, and when I looked online today to check on them, so much has been filled!  All but 3 items at Crate & Barrel have been purchased, and we're still 2 months away from the wedding!

Here's why getting married is so cool--you get a bunch of stuff you don't really need, but you realize now you can't live without.  I've gone 31 years peeling an apple with a dangerous knife.  Now, I'll have my own Good Grips Apple Slicer!  I've gone 31 years with pouring wine out of a bottle.  Boring!  Now I'll have a beautiful 37oz Vino Carafe to wow my guests.  And no more getting water from the plain ol' water faucet.  We are the proud owners of a very cool 46oz Crate and Barrel Ona Glass Water Pitcher!

I should have thought of this marriage thing years ago!

So if I'm not able to blog for a few days, it's because I'm too busy rubbing our 600 thread count sheets on my face.  Score!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Have you tweeted someone today?

Does technology ever scare you?  Just think, you could be tweeting, IM'ing, or Facebooking someone right now and not even know it.  For example, yesterday when I was walking around the city, I didn't lock my cell phone.  So during a 20-minute walk, I crank called my hairdresser 9 times.  9 times!  I apparently hit the keys with my butt.  I e-mailed her saying how sorry I was, but she didn't respond.  She's clearly had enough of my shenanigans.

In college, a friend of mine's father got caught cheating on his wife, because he accidentally dialed her when he was with the other woman.  The wife listened to her husband and the girlfriend sweet talking each other, and later slapped him with divorce papers.

When I first joined Facebook, I was having people I didn't know well or hadn't seen in years, sending me instant messages like, "Hey Jeannie, it's been a long time.  How are you?"  I felt like I had to respond because they knew I was online.  I didn't like that, and finally figured out to make myself invisible so people didn't know exactly when I was on the computer.

At work, our cash drawer is appartently coming up short, so when I was checking people out last night, big wigs from New York were watching me, and everyone else, via surveillance camera.  Yowsers!

So like it or not, there's a good chance you're being watched, cyber stalked, or tweeted without your knowledge.  I say be careful with your "butt calling," so you don't get into trouble with your hair stylist.... because you just might end up with a pink mohawk.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I found out last night my 5-pound dog, Bailey, crawled underneath our balcony and went over to our neighbor's balcony.  Oh yeah, and did I mention we live 31 floors up?  If I don't blog for a few days, know that I'm probably in jail for child endangerment.

This picture shows what 31 floors up really looks like.

 My neighbor jokingly said she thought she saw a rat on her porch, but then realized it was Bailey.  She said Bailey just crawled over, peeked inside the glass door at her and her dog, and then came back.  Not only is Bailey apparently not afraid of heights, she also has no regard for the fact our neighbor has a dog 3 times bigger than her.

The other picture shows how, as a mother, I tried my best to block the dogs from crawling under with that little white candle and open glass table.  Hmm, I wonder why it didn't work?

Let's just say I won't be leaving our patio door open now unless I pass out on the couch after drinking a 5th of Vodka.  When that happens, my kids know they are on their own.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Mac computers=awesomeness

Holy Sh'moles, I didn't realize how cool Apple computers are.  Mike and I bought a MacBook Pro yesterday with the intention of me creating our wedding video, and I'd also like to start doing video blogs.  Just think!  Instead of me telling you about my dog pooping on the rug, I can show you.  Fun!

This computer is seriously the best.  In about 20 minutes I learned how to edit on it, so I've got about 1:30 of our wedding video done.  It's about 90 percent me, 10 percent Mike, and I say that's perfect!  I'm also trying to decide if our guests will be okay with a 20 minute video.  There's just so much to time as a square dancer, the awkward braces/glasses time...then I can instantly fast forward to pageant pics.  Pre-teen girls everywhere will suddenly have new hope!

With these computers, you just download your pics, and you can do all sorts of cool effects with them including the Ken Burns zoom. (I think he works/worked for PBS and invented that zoom.  I'm not sure because I watch more MTV than PBS).  This effect helps make your still pics look a little more like video.  You can also make fun video scrapbooks, and even learn how to play the guitar with this computer.  It's the Coolest. Thing. Ever.

So get ready blog readers, I have so much to show you in the city like my awesome new guitar skills and "Jeannie, The Awkward Stage" --circa 1988!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Unnecessary roughness?

While we're on the subject of the differences between men and women, I want to explore the act of yelling at a sports game on TV.  Mike will yell so loudly at the Cavs/Indians/Buckeyes games, the dogs hide under the bed and shake.  I'm sure our neighbors think Mike is super rude to me when he yells, "C'mon, what are you thinking???  Are you an idiot???"  Luckily that kind of talk is saved for Lebron James and not me.

I thought maybe Mike was just ultra passionate about sports, until I was working out the other night and the guy next to me started yelling at the Blackhawks game.  I was so startled I nearly fell off the treadmill.  Really buddy?  You know you're in public, right?  I almost prefer the typical man's act of moaning loudly in the gym because he's lifting something too heavy, versus yelling to the point that I can't hear my IPod.

I want to know how they can get this worked up about a game.  The only thing I can relate to is shopping.  When I have a good day shopping, I'm instantly in a better mood just like Mike feels great when his team wins.  But here's the thing...I've never once yelled in a store.  Can you imagine me saying..."C'mon, you're out of small sizes!  What are you, and idiot??"  Or, "Are you kidding me?  This was on sale yesterday, you pansy!  Why isn't it today??"

Hmm, I'm thinking that wouldn't go over well.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Men are from Mars, Women are down to earth...

Why are men and women so bad at communicating?  Think about it, we're raised the same way, we learn the English language, and we both learn the best way to let someone know about something is to tell them.

Yet men and women fight all the time because they're on a completely different page.

The reason I didn't blog yesterday is because I literally didn't have any time to.  I was cleaning the bathroom in my sports bra and shorts straight from a run when Mike came home from work and said, "You don't look like you're ready to go out."  Um, excuse me?  "Yeah, you know, we have tickets to that breast cancer fundraiser.  I bought you a $25 ticket for all-you-can drink at the bar Cans in Bucktown."  (A breast cancer awareness event at Cans..catchy, huh?)

This is the first I was hearing about this.

I had no make-up on, no contacts in and I smelled like a gym/bathroom cleaner.  How is it we live together and he never once mentioned this?

Me?  I went to the bar with a ponytail.  I guess it's one of the luxuries of already being engaged.

P.S. Did you see WISH-TV's smokin' hot meteorologist Angela Buchman is now a follower?  Me?  I'm a big deal.