It's official!

It's official!
David Stubbs Photography

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Anthony Weiner scandal

Me: "I can't get something out of my mind that I saw at work tonight."

My husband: "What?"

Me: "It was Anthony Weiner's....well....weiner."
Courtesy: NY Daily News
Have you been following New York City's politics? It's absolutely nutty! (pun intended) Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner is once again finding himself in sexual hot water. In the latest scandal, he is accused of sexting a college student from Indiana and sending her racy photos of his...weiner. I mean really, he just makes the jokes too easy. (You may remember he resigned from Congress in 2011 for tweeting a sexually explicit photo of himself to another woman.) It appears as if the weiner never learns.

The woman at the other end is Sydney Leathers, proving once again the first rule of politics--never trust a girl with a stage name. She will sell you down the river faster than you can zip your drawers. During an interview with Inside Edition, Leathers says, "He's not who I thought he was." Of course, in the next breath, she said Weiner once described himself as an "argumentative, perpetually horny, middle-aged man." So I guess Ms. Leathers, you actually knew him pretty well.

The New York news media has been all over this story. Because I work as a news writer at a television station, I had the "honor" of seeing the picture of Weiner's weiner that Ms. Leathers sold to a racy website. When my husband texted last night to see how my night was going, I replied with:

"Things are's a pretty easy news night. Just writing about weiners!"

The TV news stories about the Weiner scandal are nothing compared to New York's newspapers. They are perhaps the raciest pieces of journalism I've ever seen. Check out the covers of the New York Daily News and the New York Post...

My favorite moment last night happened when the assignment editor asked all of us "Can we say 'Same Old Schlong and Dance' on the air?" I mean really, if I get asked that one more time.....

But never appears as if the Weiner scandal will feed our insatiable appetites for months to come. During an interview with the local media who asked how many other women he sexted, Anthony Weiner said there probably weren't anymore than three women...well, perhaps six to 10 all together...but it wasn't dozens and dozens. These are his words.  

Oh New York. You crazy city. 


Monday, July 22, 2013

It's a boy for Duchess Kate Middleton and Prince William!

The big news story today, of course, is that Duchess Kate Middleton delivered a healthy baby boy at a London hospital. As a news writer for a New York television station, I can tell you having her go into labor this morning was like a little gift from the TV news gods who know how hard it is to fill a Monday morning show.

All day, I've wondered what it must have been like in the labor room. Since Kate is such a beautifully composed and elegant person, I'm guessing her delivery was a calm and serene experience with only the prettiest of bodily fluids being gently brushed underneath her petticoat.

What is it about Kate Middleton that seems so perfect? Along with the fact that she's NEVER taken a bad photo in her life, she also seems like the kind of woman who doesn't have to worry about putting her foot in her mouth or doing something embarrassing. Right? Here is my "purely hypothetical" list of what makes Duchess Kate better than all of us...

* I'm guessing Kate Middleton has never been surprised by a fart that turned out to be oh- so-much-more that she anticipated. (I'm also guessing she has never blamed the fart in question on her dog.)
* I bet she's never yelled "EXCUSE YOU!" to an annoying kid on the subway,  only to discover everyone, including the kid's family, was staring right at her.
* I bet Duchess Kate has never decided to undo that one top button on her pants just to give herself a little breathing room, and then forgotten about that undone button for say, 8 or 9 hours.
* I'm guessing the future queen has never been called a "Bitchy White Woman" or seen a man peeing on the streets.
* I bet she's never tried to avoid shaking hands with people after she ran out of Purell or done the "sniff test" on her laundry.
* I'm guessing Kate has never fought for a table at a bar or plowed into someone with her purse because they wouldn't get out of her way.
* I'm also guessing the Duchess has never "drip-dried" in a public restroom or lost her patience with her mother.
* And I'm guessing Kate Middleton has never slapped Prince William's fanny as he walked by just because he has the "cutest little butt" or stepped in his pee on the bathroom floor after a night out with his "chaps."

Congratulations to William and Kate! I'm guessing raising a baby will be much easier with an entire country on your side.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Boathouse restaurant New York City

My husband and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary this week and we had to laugh at how our anniversary plans always seem to fall through.

This was our first one in New York City, so we wanted it to be really fun. Since I've been wanting to take a carriage ride through Central Park, we decided on the park's Boathouse restaurant, thinking we could eat dinner first and then do a carriage ride after words. (And it doesn't hurt that this restaurant happens to be in my favorite TV show of all time--Sex and the City, and in one of my favorite movies, 27 Dresses).
I made reservations on Thursday night at 7:45 p.m. Since we live near the park, we decided to walk to dinner. It had just stopped raining, so walking the 1.2 miles there was like walking through the swampy Florida everglades. It didn't take long for my hair to become a full-on 'fro. The plus side though-- the park was nearly empty except for a few lost foreign tourists.

By the time we weaved our way there, it was a toss-up on what was more miserable--my swollen feet stuffed into high heels or the sweat running down my back. I have to admit I was a little disheartened when I realized the Boathouse restaurant is entirely outdoors, so with 80+ degree weather and 100% humidity, there was no way to cool down. Even the bathroom attendant looked like she was going to pass out.

We checked in with the hostess who told us it would be a little bit of a wait, but we could get drinks at the bar. I sat down, hoping to reduce my heat stroke symptoms and regain consciousness while Mike got us drinks. The female bartender looked at him once, twice, three times... and nothing. She helped everyone around him, including people who came up to the bar after him. He eventually stopped trying. (Did she not see how good-looking he was??? Sheesh.)

After awhile, the crowds cleared out, so we sat at a table near the hostess stand. We then noticed people around us were getting tables, so I went to check on our status. When I gave our name, the hostess said:

"Oh, is your entire party here now?"

Me: "Um, what do you mean? My husband and I have been sitting 10 feet away from you for an hour."

Her: "Oh, um, he told me he was waiting for you to arrive."

Liar, liar, pants on fire. This is hostess speak for "We forgot about you."

She then handed me a buzzer and said it would be a few more minutes while I simultaneously contemplated all the places I could shove that buzzer.

We left.

While walking the 1.2 miles back home, we decided we would still try to make it a fun night and get a carriage ride. With nearly bloody-feet, I hobbled to the nearest carriage and asked for a ride, but quickly realized every tourist had the same idea and they were all taken.

Sigh. (Would it be wrong to hire a homeless man to give me a piggyback ride?)

We ended up going to a cute little Italian restaurant in our neighborhood and had a great dinner. And luckily, we didn't spend $300 like our anniversary debacle of 2011.

Sweaty 1.2 mile walk=shiny forehead

We toasted to another year of wedded bliss and fewer days of sweaty butt crack.

I told Mike later, I guess if our biggest anniversary problem is that we didn't get good service at a nice New York City restaurant, we're doing pretty well.

Happy Anniversary MikeE!