Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wait, who are the stars?
Luckily Audrina Patridge will be dancing and not talking, because if you ever saw The Hills, you know she can't put two words together. But putting Bristol Palin on, the single mother who's been engaged twice to a douche bag, is just what America needs!
Wow, well at least Carol Brady, a.k.a. Florence Henderson, has also been cast. Maybe her squeaky clean image can clean up the rest of the dirt on the show.
Click here to see the entire cast.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
My girlfriend Holly was in Chicago this weekend, so on Friday night we decided to get dolled up and put on our best high heels. We walked to dinner at Friends Sushi restaurant at Rush and Superior. (Side note: This is hands down the best Sushi in Chicago. The "Friends" roll will make you cry happy tears. I'm pretty sure it could unite the Shiites and Sunnis.)
So I've realized while I enjoy having on the cutest tops and designer jeans, my shoes will be remain ugly and practical, and I'm okay with that.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sadly, after nearly a year here, I can say my only true friend is our doorman, Fred. He's so sweet! Other than that, nothing.
Yesterday I realized our neighbor, whom we share a patio wall with, was moving out. I saw her in the hallway, and this was the extent of our conversation...
Me: "Oh, so you're moving out?"
That was it. I couldn't even say we'd miss her, because that wouldn't be the truth. I don't even know her name. Sadly, I know her Puggle is named Oliver, but that's about it. If you put our neighbors and their dogs in a line-up, I'd know more of the dogs than the humans.
The weird thing is, I hardly ever seen anyone on our floor. This seems crazy to me, because we all have dogs, and are therefore taking them out throughout the day and night. I didn't even know our neighbors right across the hall had moved out until one day I saw a Golden Retriever coming out of the apartment instead of a Weimaraner. I didn't even recognize his owners! Pathetic.
The next test will be in a couple of months when we move into more of a neighborhood in Lincoln Park. If I don't make friends with our neighbors there, I'll know it must be my social skills.
And to our doorman Fred: I really will miss you.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
- Cabs and city buses make sharp turns, so never have your feet out close to the curb. You will lose a toe.
- If a homeless person is yelling at you and calling you nasty names, realize they aren't really mad at you, it's more the world as a whole. Don't make eye contact and walk away.
- Don't assume just because the light tells you it's okay to walk that it actually is. Look up, and wait for 3-4 cars to run the red light, and then you can walk.
- Finally, always stay out of the way of bicyclists.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
To regift or not to regift, that is the question. I say yes, Mike says no, and thus begins our first disagreement of marriage (and when I say first, I mean first this week.) Just kidding!
Is the gift regiftable? Never regift handmade or one-of-a-kind items. Signed books and monogrammed items are off-limits. Do you have to be told not to regift free promotional items? Some gifts that are good candidates for regifting include good (unopened!) bottles of wine, new household items and inexpensive jewelry.
How is the condition? Only new, unopened gifts in good condition should be considered for regifting. Never give partially used gift cards. Don’t give items that you have owned for a long time. A general rule of thumb: if you have to dust it off, it is not regiftable.
Is this going to work? Successful regifters use common sense. If you are going to regift, be sure you know who gave you the item, so you don’t return something to the original giver. Only regift items to people who are not likely to see the original giver.
Do you have good intentions? Don’t just give a gift to give a gift. Be sure that the recipient will appreciate the item. Remember, if you feel that an item is undesirable, the recipient probably will too. If you are regifting simply because you ran out of time, gift cards are simple to obtain and always well received.
How does it look? When it comes to gift-giving, go for show! While gift bags in good condition can be reused, wrapping paper is a one-time thing. Always spring for a new card or gift tag.
Can you handle it? If you don’t plan to announce the gift as a regift, ask yourself if you can keep the secret. Never feel guilty about regifting once you’ve done it.
Have you considered your options? An unwanted gift could be a welcome donation to a charitable organization. It is also an option to suck it up and keep an unwanted gift—after all, it was a gift.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sorry I've been MIA for a couple of days now. I've been busy doing wedding stuff. What??? You're probably thinking, "But you got married 6 weeks ago, what could you possibly be doing now?"
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Blago actually came out pretty well, considering he was charged with 24 counts including bribery, racketeering, conspiracy, wire fraud....well, you get it. Come to find out, there was just one juror holdout, which forced a mistrial on the 23 other counts. Talk about just squeaking by!
Here are some other great moments in
Illinois has a long history of corrupt governors, tracing back to 1859, when Democrat Joel Matteson was indicted twice for embezzling money.
He was cleared of the charges and now has a suburb named after him.
Republican Len Small was indicted in 1922 for embezzling state funds. He was acquitted, but historians suspect jury tampering in the case since four jurors got state jobs after the trial.
Republican William Stratton was acquitted on tax charges in 1965.
Democrat Otto Kerner was convicted of bribery and fraud and served three years in prison.
Dan Walker was sentenced to seven years in prison for bank fraud, perjury and other crimes in a bank scam that took place after he left office.
So I guess threatening our politicians that if they don't keep their hands clean, they'll go to prison doesn't work. Maybe it’s time they get community service like cleaning out port-a-potties. I saw that done once, and it ain’t pretty. Let’s just say it involves a big vacuum, horrendous smells, and brown shrapnel.
I say that’s perfect.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
What is it about Target that makes you lose all control and spend hundreds more than you intended? Perhaps it has something to do with their signature red color. Maybe the color tricks your brain into thinking you have more money than you really do. Perhaps it's the fact that they make it so easy so you can load up on toilet paper, cute clothes and coffee creamer all in one place. Perhaps they are pumping extra oxygen into the building, so you suddenly feel refreshed and ready to shop. Whatever it is, I know I spent $300 yesterday.
I'm not the only one either...people around this country go to Target meaning to buy hair gel, but they leave with $100 worth of goods. How did that happen?? There's even a Facebook group you can join called, "I went to Target to buy shampoo, and I ended up spending $150." There are 108,065 members of that support group.
One of my girlfriends posted this on her FB account the other day, and it made me chuckle...
"Went to Target for razors, hair ties, and birthday cards. Got there and I realized they have cute swimsuits. And I need a new pair of sandals. I should buy that book. Always need windex. My dog would LOVE this bed....and toy...and new leash. Am I out of soft scrub? I love trail mix. Hmm, this brownie mix looks good. Have I really been here for an hour?"
She checked out and realized she forgot the razors, hair ties and birthday cards.
Ooh, I wonder if Target employees get discounts. If so, I totally need to work there.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
When I talk to my friends who still work in television news, I'm reminded that it really is a thankless job. I know you aren't supposed to constantly be told how great you are, but in news, it's just the opposite. Not only are you not getting positive feedback, there's usually some boss, anchor or viewer who's quick to tell you you stink.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
So about a month after the crazy fun chaos of a wedding settles down and you still have a smile on your face--you are suddenly thrust back into reality. The reality that you agreed to pay for 150 of your closest friends and family to eat heavily, drink unlimited amounts of alcohol and wipe their mouths on the finest linens. That reality hits you like a freight train when your credit card bills start rolling in. In one day, I got two credit card bills totaling, well, a lot. Let's just say I could pay an 18 year old's college tuition, and that's just the icing on the cupcake (we opted for cupcakes instead of cake because they are about 2/3's cheaper.)
The good news? I've already received one free flight with my Southwest credit card, I'm close to earning another one, and I've earned a ton of free gift cards from Discover.
With all the new federal laws, it seems like credit card companies are being more and more honest with consumers. On my Southwest card, the minimum payment was something like $200. Next to that though, it said if chose to pay the minimum it would take me....get this...32 years to pay it off! That's a whole lifetime! It also said in the end, I would end up paying more than double because of interest rates. Scary, but good information. It certainly makes you think twice about not paying off credit card rates right away.
In other news: Mike and I will not be able to afford kids. Sorry to our parents who really wanted us to have them.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Wow, I realized today it's been exactly 6 years ago that as a reporter, I covered Hurricane Charley in Fort Myers, Florida. It was a category 4 storm, and the strongest to ever hit that part of Florida. It was also a Friday the 13th, which seemed very fitting.
I was 26, working for WINK-TV, and so scared. With hurricanes, you know for several days they are coming, which in many ways, I think is worse. For 5 or 6 days you prepare, have an upset stomach and can't sleep. I was worried the new condo I just bought would be demolished, or that my dog Bailey would die. Worse yet, I had feelings that it might be the end for me.
Because here's the thing: television news reporters and photographers are asked to do really stupid things in storms. We tell everyone to stay inside, yet we're reporting live from a deserted beach with debris flying around our heads. We tell people it's too unsafe to drive, yet we're driving in 100 mile per hour winds, and driving over power lines. We're telling you to stay away from windows, yet we're sitting in a live truck.
That day I remember thinking I had a sweet gig, because I was first sent to the Emergency Management Headquarters. It's the safest building in SW Florida, and also where every top firefighter, paramedic and police officer was stationed. But then about two hours before landfall, the bosses told my photographer and I to leave there and "hit the streets." We went back to the station first to get some stuff, and we saw the engineers boarding up the doors. That meant as soon as we left, we were locked out. I asked my boss where we should go if it got really bad, and he said a parking garage was probably the safest bet. I sat there and bawled, knowing I was getting kicked out of the building and that I might die.
Was I just being overly dramatic? Nope, 16 people lost their lives that day.
Here's the thing, if you're ever watching TV and think, "Wow, why is the reporter so stupid and standing out in the storm??!!," know that he or she agrees with you, but they have no choice.
And to think, people believe television news is so glamorous! That week I slept on the newsroom floor, used port-a-potties sans toilet paper and bathed in a swimming pool.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Well, it's official! Chelsea Clinton married boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky over the weekend. I've always felt a connection to Chelsea, perhaps because she and I both looked hideous for several years until we finally grew into ourselves. We also both got married in our 30's, perhaps because we had to wait until our braces were off and the emotional scars healed. I also met Bill Clinton when I was 14, and he totally winked at me. He was probably thinking, "Wow, you're as awkward as my daughter."
The truth is, I hadn't thought of Chelsea in years. Since she's not on Jersey Shore or Real Housewives of New York City, she's not really on my radar. But when I was watching Access Hollywood the other night, they were all over the story of her upcoming nuptials. Billy Bush said, "Now to the real story, who will Chelsea be wearing?" Really Billy? That's the real story? I think the real story is whether or not Bill hit on any of her bridesmaids.
Chelsea was apparently being stalked so much by the Paparazzi, she wore this ridiculous hat to her wedding gown fitting at Vera Wang. Here are my observations...
1. Actually Chelsea, the hat calls attention to you instead of disguising you. My guess is that if you'd worn a baseball cap and no make-up, no one would have known who you were or cared.
2. Plus who really cares if you're seen going into Vera Wang? Oscar De La Renta? I know I'm not buying an US Weekly just because your mug is on the front.
3. There must be WAY too many Paparazzi in the world if there are enough photographers to stalk you, Kate Gosselin, and Justin Bieber.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Believe it or not, Mike and I have been in our tiny, 660-square foot Chicago apartment for almost one year. It's so hard to believe that one year ago, we were schlepping our crap up 31 flights in what was nearly the end or our relationship. What is it about moving that sucks so bad? It could have something to do with the fact that you don't think you have a lot of stuff until you have to pack it up and move it up/down a flight/or flights of stairs. It could have something to do with the fact that your couch is suddenly 900 pounds and doesn't fit through any standard size doors. It could also do with the fact that after you move all your crap, you realize the hard work has just started, because now you have to find room for all your shoes.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Recognize this house? If you're a true 80's fan, then you know it's Samatha Baker's house (a.k.a Molly Ringwald) in the John Hughes film "Sixteen Candles." During the opening scene of the movie, Hughes shows a paper boy throwing a newspaper towards this house, it sets of the alarm, and everyone wakes up. Funny thing is, in the movie there is also a Volkswagen parked out front in the exact same spot.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
After living for nearly a year 31 floors up, I feel like I'm the master of the elevator. I've figured out elevators all across this town, and know which ones have doors that close no matter what, so you don't want to chance throwing a limb in between the doors. I also know which ones have sensors, so I can throw an arm or Chihuahua in front of them so they don't close. I always double check before getting on that it's actually going the direction I want it to go.
What I've noticed about many other Chicagoans is that they're a hot mess when it comes to elevators. Perhaps preoccupied by life, these people are never sure if the elevator is going up or down, and which floor they're getting off on.
Tonight Mike and I took the dogs outside, and as we were heading back upstairs we stopped on the 21st floor. A woman was waiting to get on, and we informed her we were going up. She politely smiled and got on anyway. Then as we began going upwards, she realized she meant to go down. We warned her!
Yesterday when I got on the elevator there was already a women inside, yet no buttons were pushed. That means she was just going to ride around from floor to floor until someone got in and hit Lobby.
And on more than one occasion I've seen someone hit floor 40 or higher. When I get off on floor 31, they distractedly follow me off the elevator. Then they cuss, and realize they got off too soon. They turn around, but it's too late, the doors have shut behind them. What are we, sheep?
Isn't it scary that some people are so distracted? Usually they are texting or listening to an Ipod. I hope when they finally get off the elevator they aren't getting into a car, because that would be scary.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
With Facebook, you can usually tell when your friends must be busy because they don't post much, or you know when they're likely bored because they are posting tons of stuff, like "TGIF!"
Facebook is also how you can tell if someone's avoiding you. If you send them a message, and don't hear back, you can see if they've made any recent posts. If they have, that means they've logged on, but are ignoring you. This technology is exactly how I know one of my friends is avoiding me. It's a weird situation. For a year before my wedding, she kept telling me how excited she was to come. She RSVP'd yes for her and her boyfriend. Then on the day of the wedding? They were no shows. Ouch. If you're familiar with how weddings work (surely you are by now with this blog!) you know that you have to give your final number of guests 3-7 days before the big event, and then you're stuck paying for them.
What makes it worse is that I never heard from her after that. No e-mail saying how sorry she was. So finally about a week ago, I sent her a Facebook message asking if she was okay, that I was worried she didn't come.
Here's the thing, I know she's okay because the weekend of the wedding she posted, "I just love the 4th of July," and recently she's posted that, "She has an awful headache!" or "She loves her dog so much!"
So if you're planning on blowing someone off, just remember in this Facebook age, you can run, but you can't hide!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Do you ever get eaten alive by mosquitoes, but the person next to you thinks your crazy because they aren't getting a single bite? Annoying. I can be around 100 people, but I'm the "chosen one."
On my way to work today I got two bites, including one of my forehead that caused a nice big, red bump. Pretty. Why are mosquitoes even in Chicago? They seem more likely residents of small towns like Effingham, Illinois. (Isn't Effingham a funny word? It's like you're trying to throw out the F bomb, but you put ham at the end to clean it up.)
When Mike and I enjoyed a movie in the park the other night (16 Candles. My favorite! And filmed in Chicago!) I got 10 bites on my legs, arms, even my middle finger. Mike got? None. The day before our wedding I got a nice one on my eyelid. It was bright red and swollen, which is every bride's dream.
So I did a little research and found out they are attracted to certain natural odors people put off. Apparently some people put off "good odors" which they like. They are also attracted to flowery scents. I'm almost always wearing a fruity or flowery Bath and Body Works lotion, so that helps explain it. I also read that if you eat certain foods like salty foods, i.e. chips, or foods high in potassium, they are more likely to bite. Guess what my dinner was last night? Doritos and a banana. Hah! Apparently, mosquitoes don't really bite, they suck out your blood. Ew! I'm pretty sure I need that blood! Also, female mosquitoes need blood for their eggs, so females are the only ones that "bite." No surprises there.
I googled "Why are mosquitoes needed?" and the best answer I found is that they are food to other animals and insects like bats and spiders.
"Okay God, it will be tough, but I'm okay if you take away all mosquitoes, bats and spiders.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
What made me think of this is a girl from work got engaged over the weekend, so we were all sharing our engagement stories with each other yesterday. Come to find out she got asked to be her boyfriend's wife in the most romantic spot you can think of for a proposal: in bed.
Ugh, I hate the "in bed" proposal stories! Can't these guys come up with anything more creative? Whenever someone shares this kind of story, you suddenly begin thinking they were probably naked, living in sin, and the guy got caught up in the moment, and blurted out, "Marry me!" I know you're thinking the same thing. Then when they tell their parents and grandparents the story, the first thing they'll think of is that their little girl isn't pure anymore, when they should be thinking how excited they are.
So men: I'm not saying you have to spend a ton of money, but get a little more creative than just being in your bedroom. You need to remember, you'll be telling this story for years to come, including to your children. Do you really want the kiddos having bad thoughts of mommy and daddy?