Facebook relationship status

You can wear your status! Courtesy: Zazzle.com

I'm obsessed with Facebook relationship drama. Ob-sessed. You know the kind I'm talking about too...so and so changes their status from "married" to "it's complicated" or so and so is in an "open relationship." It takes everything I have to not send them a message (whether I know them well or not) and ask, "What in the world happened?" Or "What do you mean by open relationship?" And just what are they open to...getting an STD?

It's very clear that people update their relationship status a) because they are super honest b) they just want to get it over with, knowing people with ask questions or c) they enjoy the drama. I've seen couples who are clearly taunting each other with their changed statuses and posts that are obvious jabs directed at their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend. 

My favorite is when in just a matter of a few days, someone goes from "married" to "it's complicated" to "separated" to "married" again. Phew, who can keep up? What that essentially means is "I'm married to Mike." "Mike flirted with a girl and now I'm mad." "Mike and I fought all night and I think it's over." "Oops, found out the girl Mike was talking to is his co-worker." Every up and down of their marriage is put out there for the world to see.

To think--Mark Zuckerberg designed the relationship status just to find out if the hot women on campus were single or not. Now, not only do we get to find out if they're happy in their relationship, but we also find out how they look in a cell phone self-portrait with kissy-face duck lips.