Kristen Stewart cheating scandal

Oh my goodness, can you believe this latest national scandal? No, not the Chick-fil-A hoop-la, I'm talking about Kristen Stewart cheating on her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson. What was she thinking??

Courtesy: US Weekly

In the latest issue of US Weekly, there is not one, not two, but five pictures showing Stewart either kissing or cuddling with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, who is 41 and married. The photos are in the daylight and oh-so obvious.

Okay Kristen--here's the deal. Have you never picked up a copy of US Weekly? Do you know millions of us eagerly buy them every week so we can see you and all the other Hollywood stars flocking on the beach or walking your dogs. Heck, we even want to know you're "Just Like Us" in photos showing you picking your teeth, pulling a wedgie out of your behind or licking your fingers after eating delicious Buffalo Wings. Somehow seeing photos of you walking out of the grocery store with toilet paper and no make-up on, takes my mind off the incredible pain I'm enduring on the gym treadmill or the pain I'm about to endure at the dentist.

Also, have you ever seen the great lengths the paparazzi go to to find y'all? You've probably noticed them every time you step out of your house, car or restaurant. And don't you find it strange that there are always black cars following you everywhere you go?

I'm pretty sure if photogs can capture images of Shiloh Pitt cruising down the Nile River with Angelina Jolie on their peace mission in Egypt or photograph Suri Cruise mid-breakdown after not getting the puppy she wanted in a pet store, they can probably find you in the outskirts of L.A. at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday.

Just sayin'.

And Rob-I'm so sorry you're heartbroken. But here's my number. Call me maybe?

Chicago is one expensive city

We've given the city of Chicago a lot of our money. And I mean a lot. You may remember me telling you about the parking sticker debacle of 2011 that cost us $240. We had an expired parking sticker but didn't know it...we parked in a friend's neighborhood...we never got the ticket and blah, blah, blah, we ended up owing the city a ton of cash.

And of course there's always the tremendously large amount of rent we pay, which is partially so high because of Chicago taxes. I won't give you an exact figure, but let's just say in my 2 1/2 years here, we have paid a healthy five-figure number for a one-bedroom apartment. And you can't forget the food, drinks and just about everything else that costs more in a city.

But apparently it's not enough. Chicago always wants more.

Look at this fun letter I opened yesterday. Yep, the city caught us (and by us, I really mean my husband) running a red light last month which will now cost us a cool Benjamin Franklin. (Sadly, I'm pretty sure the last time I got a $100 bill was when I graduated from college.)

Oh, and there's no denying the infraction...there's photographic proof. They included three photos of my Murano cruising through that light like Katie Holmes is cruising her way out of being Mrs. Cruise. The city says I can fight it, but why even bother? I just hope the guy in the white car next to us got the same fun letter.

The funny thing is...I know exactly when this happened. It was my grad school graduation day and Mike was driving his parents and my dad home from Evanston. I can almost envision that car ride...lots of family members talking all at once about their ingrown toenails Christmas Vacation style and Mike knew he needed to lay on that gas and get home as quickly as possible.

The other funny thing is...this isn't our only ticket from that day. Yep, Chicago found us later parked on our street so my parents could have our parking garage spot and wouldn't ya know, we had an expired license plate. That cost us another $60. Yep, it seems we'll never learn. It's just so hard keeping up with car stuff when I only drive the car once every couple of weeks.

So there you go Chicago, you're getting another $160 from the Evanchans. The new score--Chicago 3, Evanchans 0.

Too much coffee?

Have you ever seen a woman get out of her car along the interstate, scream obscenities, wave her fist in anger and then drop her shorts and panties and start peeing along the side of the road for all to see? Yep, I didn't think so.

This past Saturday, my mom and I were driving back from Jackson, Tennessee after our week away in the country. As we were driving along I-40, traffic got really backed up and for more than an hour we puttered between 0-2 miles per hour. Admittedly, it was maddening. Finally we saw an exit and decided to drive down the emergency lane to get it to it. We got behind another car that was doing the same thing. Apparently a semi-truck driver thought we were trying to cut him off, so he pulled the truck over and blocked us. I could see the woman in front of us and she didn't handle this road block well. She grabbed the steering wheel and stared shaking her body violently. (Ironically enough, she had room to get past the truck, but women never have a sense of how big/small their car is, right?)

The woman, who is probably in her late 30's or early 40's, then turned around to our car and started yelling, "Stop following me!" Okay lady, we were not trying to get to the same fun party you were, we were just trying to get out of traffic too. My mom decided to get away from the crazy kitty and ducked back into traffic. As we passed the woman, I saw her grab her door handle and she flew the door open with fury. I immediately hit the locks on our car, thinking she was probably going to attack us. She then started waving her fist, yelled and then pulled down her shorts and granny panties and started peeing along the side of the road. I saw white. A lot of white butt. It was ewwie. Funny enough, the two men in her car just stared straight ahead and didn't say a word.

Here's my mom. She did not pee along the interstate.

The woman then got back in her car, pulled up a little bit and jumped back out and started yelling at the truck driver while waving her now peed-on fist. It was the dang weirdest thing. Apparently she really had to pee and was beyond upset at the truck driver for not letting her pass.

Rule number one: Never get in the way of a woman that has had too much coffee. Rule number two: Take a picture! Damn you Jeannie, you missed a great Facebook status update. Rule number three: If the woman in your car hops out and pulls down her undies so she can pee pee, just stare straight ahead and don't ask questions. It's best.

Miss USA 2002 reunion

Well, that sure was fun.

A couple of weekends ago I went to Las Vegas for a Miss USA 2002 10-year reunion. I was Miss Wyoming back in the day, so I got together with some of the other hotties from that year for a weekend of dinner, drinks, pool time, dressing up and well, a little red carpet time. It was so stinkin' fun!

What's funny is how many of my friends and classmates saw pictures posted on Facebook and told me they had no idea I was Miss Wyoming. I guess that's good that I'm not trying too hard to live in my glory days. (Although I'm pretty sure I told everyone I met that weekend and it may or may not have gotten me free drinks).

I really can't believe it's been 10 years since I packed up my sequins gowns and headed to Gary, Indiana for three weeks of rehearsals and being wined and dined by Donald Trump at the Trump hotel. I also can't believe we got to go to Gary, Indiana in February when the pageant is now held in Las Vegas in June. Hmm.

Through Facebook and the reunion it's been so fun reconnecting and seeing what these incredible women have done. Some are on television or commercials, some are public speakers, some are moms, some have even gone on to become Mrs. titleholders, in fact one is now Mrs. United States. It was also great being able to catch up but knowing thankfully, I no longer have to compete next to these beauties in a swimsuit.

A big thank-you to Montana for setting it all up. Meredith--you worked hard to make sure we all felt like princesses. And a big shout-out to Nebraska, New Jersey, Missouri, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas and the other Miss Wyoming's I met from other years. It's pretty cool knowing women only get more gorgeous and amazing in their 30's.

Time Magazine cover of breastfeeding mom-when should he be cut off?

I'm sure by now all of you have seen the Time magazine cover of a mom breastfeeding her surprisingly large 3-year old son with the headline "Are You Mom Enough?" The photo is about attachment parenting which is about how to keep your kid attached to you at all times, which sometimes requires a wooden chair. (Or something like that).

Of course, this photo has angered a lot of people and was a topic in my photojournalism class this week when our guest lecturer (a photo editor at the Tribune) asked if we thought this photo went too far.

Me being the smart aleck I am had two thoughts: One, this kid is HUGE for a 3-year old, which clearly shows milk does the body good. And two, I immediately thought this would make a great blog.


So here it goes...my top 5 list of "When it may be "Time" to cut off your child...

1) You realize you may have breastfed too long when your child becomes so good at getting your bra off, he can do it one-handed like Zac Efron in The Lucky One.

2) You realize you may have breastfed too long when your child says to you, "I got a fever, and the only prescription is a little more boob." (Sorry, too cheesy?)

3) You realize you may have breastfed too long when your son says, "Hey Ma. How many times do I gots to tell you, I prefer yours red bras over de white ones." (Is anyone else picturing a little Guido here?)

4) You realize you may have breastfed too long when you child can walk over to you, sit down, lift up your shirt and ask about day.

5) You realize you may have breastfed too long when your child's friends are over and one complains about being thirsty, so your kid offers up "mom's free milk."

Getting on the wrong L train. I've made it an art form.

I'm not sure how it happens so often, but I do know this: I've now gotten on the wrong train in Chicago at least four times. Yep, four times of having that sinking feeling that nothing outside of the L train windows looks familiar. (That should be a country song.)

The most recent offense was probably the worst one yet...considering I had ridden to nearly the end of the brown line track (Kedzie) before realizing my mistake. I got on at Sedgwick, so if you look at this picture closely, you'll see that I managed to stop at 14 locations without having a clue. Yep, 14 times of hearing the train conductor saying "This stop, Armitage. Next stop on the brown line is Fullerton." (I needed the purple line to Linden.) Or if that didn't work, you'd think the thoughts of "Hmm, I don't remember that baseball field" or "Wow, the train isn't as busy as it usually is in the morning" would have made me realize my mistake by, oh I don't know, at least Diversey.

Nope, instead I rode that train on down the line until I finally panicked, looked at the colored sign in the window (damn it's brown!), hopped off at the next stop and backtracked to Belmont before transferring to the right train. This little mistake cost me 45 minutes and a very embarrassing walk of shame into my Long-Form Narrative class. (At least I didn't have on a sparkly gold dress and smudged mascara like you sometimes see in the mornings.)

Each of the four times that I've made this mistake, I've always called my husband so he can tell me what I need to do to get back on track. Since he's lived here four years longer than me, I need his help. His simple advice this time I called? "You know, all you have to do is read the signs." Yes honey, there is always that...

My theory is this: when you hear a train pulling up and you've just run up three flights of stairs to catch it and you see everyone else getting on....you are going to follow the crowd and get on the train, even if it isn't yours. It's almost like they surely know something you don't know.

I'm guessing there is probably some sort of psychological test that can be done about following the crowd, and I can be the main subject. Just don't expect me to get there on time...

Happy Earth Day!

In honor of Earth Day, I wanted to share something I did on vacation recently that was easy and rewarding: I went bagless.

During Spring Break, my mom and I visited Fort Myers, Florida. We knew we'd be doing some shopping (that's a given), but we also knew how quickly we would generate a ton of bags if we weren't careful. So we decided to bring our own cloth bags which easily stuff inside a suitcase. The results were amazing.

Each time we went grocery shopping, we had the bagger put everything in the cloth bags and also convinced them we didn't need our wine in little brown bags (only our 40's of beer.) Then at clothing stores we used our bags again, and also told the salespeople we didn't need our clothes wrapped in tissue paper. Such a waste! (During my funemployment when I worked at a clothing store and women insisted that I wrap their clothes in tissue, I once replied, "Why, so you can immediately throw it away when you get home?" And who says I'm not good at customer service?) I'm guessing we saved 30-40 bags that week. Can you imagine if everyone did the same thing?

Another big problem on vacation is how many plastic water bottles people use. So instead of doing that, we'd fill up a reusable plastic cup (from my in-laws kitchen) and take it on the road with us.

Here are some other simple steps you can take for the environment..
--Wash your clothes on cold
--Turn off lights when you aren't in a room and don't leave water running when you're brushing your teeth, shaving, etc.
-- Always carry a cloth bag with you. Mine is small and wads up in my purse, so then I'm always prepared if I need to run a quick errand. Also, keep 5-6 in your car so you can use them at the grocery store. (Put them next to you so you don't forget.)
--Use rechargeable batteries. These are so easy and last a very long time! I've used the same four AA batteries for about five years.
--Recycle. I'm amazed by how many people don't do this. Once you get in the habit, it will feel like you're throwing away a baby or puppy when you don't recycle.
--Use cloth napkins at home instead of paper ones.

It's so easy to do a little which turns out to be a lot. Happy Earth Day!