Wedding depression

No one ever prepares you for the sadness that comes after a wedding. Seriously, I could cry every time I think about it being over. For two years, my life was all about choosing a wedding location, deejay, photographer and flavors of cupcakes. Every week, and sometimes everyday, I would makes decisions that would affect the happiest day of my life. Really, when you think about it, I was planning for the big day for 32 years. Every little girl dreams of her wedding day; if fact, I started pulling the pages of wedding magazines years ago, when I started thinking about what dress I wanted to wear. I always dreamed of walking down the aisle to a devastatingly good-looking man, who surely would be tall, dark and handsome.

I did all that, and it was amazing.... but now it’s over.

Now it’s back to the reality that I’m underemployed, living in a 660-square foot apartment, and have a ton of bills to pay.

Depressing, right?

Well, it would be if the end prize didn’t mean I have a fabulous man to call my husband. I truly hit the husband jackpot with him. I’m also pursuing a writing career and have one book written and another started. And we may not have the largest apartment, but it’s filled with a lot of love.

To everyone who made July 3, 2010 the most amazing day of my life--I thank you. After waiting my whole life, I thought surely I had created expectations that couldn't be lived up to. I’m happy to report the wedding not only met those expectations, it exceeded them ten-fold.

Jacob vs. Edward=who's the better match?

Okay, I’m officially addicted to Twilight. Mike and I saw Eclipse last night, and I’ve been dreaming of Edward and Jacob ever since (what every woman should be doing on her honeymoon.) Women across this country are screaming “Team Edward!” or “Team Jacob!” as I exclaim “I want them both!”

I didn’t realize just how much this series is geared towards women. As we were giving our tickets to the ticket taker, he turned to Mike and laughed, “Oh, so she dragged you here.” Mike told him he likes Vampire movies, only not ones where the vampires are “sissies.”

Here’s the thing--every women dreams of two men loving her, and being caught in a love triangle-- and that’s exactly what’s happening for Bella. Edward is the good-looking, mysterious vampire. Jacob is the strong and hot Werewolf. I say both have pro’s and con’s...so let’s break down who is the better match.

• Edward tells Bella he loves her and wants to marry her. You might think that’s pretty mature for a high school senior, only quite the contrary. He’s like 200 years old, but he never ages, so at 200, he’d better be ready to settle down.

  
  

  Jacob has the body of a roman god, and likes to show it off by never wearing a shirt. Hot to look at, but c’mon, he totally knows it! He doesn’t even wear a shirt when it’s snowing, which is one-way ticket to pneumonia.

  
  

  Edward never ages. Cool, except Bella is going to have to get a lot of Botox to keep up with her ageless beau. Eventually, Edward will probably get tired of her, and trade her in for a younger version.

  
  

  Jacob says things like, “Loving me would be as easy as breathing.” Sweet, but guys who usually talk like that are named Jake Pavelka and are the Bachelor. They also cry at the drop of a hat, and their relationships don’t last.

  
  

  Edward clearly knows the dangers of the sun, and has pale, silky smooth skin. He won’t have to worry about skin cancer, but he also melts in the sun. Not. Good.

  
  

  Jacob is willing to fight for the love of Bella, so he instantly turns into a Werewolf to fight off the Vampires. Super sweet, yet he rips all his clothes when he makes the transformation. I’m sure after a few years, Bella will get tired of sewing and mending his jean shorts.

  
  

Flying vs. driving=which is better?

Good afternoon from Jackson, Tennessee! Mike and I decided on a laid-back honeymoon at my parent’s summer home which is in the middle of nowhere. It’s great--there are no telephones, cell service, TV’s, or neighbors. To publish this blog, we have to drive into town and find WI-FI service (and I will have to charge you $9.95 for that effort.)

We drove down last night, which took about 7 hours from Chicago. Considering we’ve taken trips both driving and flying this week, I’ve decided driving is way better. Here are some thoughts about flying I jotted down in Jackson, Wyoming while sitting in the very crowded airport.....

What is it about flying that’s so terrible? Really, it shouldn't’t be that bad considering you’re super excited to go on a family vacation or a wedding, and when it’s over you’re usually super excited about going home and finally using your own bathroom.

Waiting in the security line is just brutal. Why are people so stinkin’ slow? I get that we now have to take off our shoes and belts and just about everything else. Here’s my solution: wear flip flops, no jewelry and go sans belt. I say we should all become accepting of showing some butt crack if it means getting through security faster.

Also, why do people have so many damn bags? Yes, I have 3 bags today, but Mike has 1, so it evens out. But I just got married people, so that excuses my 12 pairs of shoes! What’s your excuse? What the airlines are making in charging people for shipping bags, they have to be losing in delays because everyone now carries on bags the size of The Biggest Loser's sweatpants. To add to the fun, carry-ons are so stuffed and heavy, passengers can’t lift them up into the overhead bin, so we wait twice as long to board.

Seriously parents, do you need to pack so much stuff? I can appreciate that little Johnny loves Toy Story 3 and wants every toy from the movie with him. I can also appreciate that you want him to have his playpen and crib and special travel seat. But does he need it? My mom jokingly tells me my bed when we traveled was a dresser drawer filled with blankets, and I don’t seem too emotionally damaged.

And as I’ve said before, there’s something rank about airport bathrooms. Have you ever noticed they always smell like poo? What is with that?? Have we ever heard of courtesy flushes, people?? Or going before you head to the airport??

P.S. I know this picture posted has nothing to do with this post, but I just love our wedding pics, so get ready to see more!!

Sleep, what sleep?

Oh sleep, how much I missed you! I knew right before the wedding, I wouldn't sleep much because I was excited. The night of the wedding, I thought I'd sleep great because everything went well, but then I just replayed everything in my head and I was too excited to get any shut eye. The night after that, I thought surely I'd get some sleep, but then I awoke at 2:30 a.m., wide awake, and I decided to start writing a book about my experiences at the wedding. From there, I didn't go back to sleep.

So finally yesterday, I took a nap from 2:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m. When I awoke, I realized Mike had walked about 2 miles to our favorite Sushi place, and picked up dinner so I didn't have to get ready. Isn't that sweet? I figured by now, we'd both be on each other's nerves and if I asked what we're having for dinner, he'd reply, "Whatever you can find in the kitchen."

After my amazing nap, I then slept another 12 hours last night. Love it!

Today, we're slowly getting moving, and heading for a relaxing vacation in Jackson, Tennessee. My mom and step-father have a home there, so we're going to spend a few days relaxing by the pool, eating deep-fried Southern food, and just soaking up being husband and wife.

We'll chat again soon!




Where do I begin??

Okay, if someone told me how crazy fun my wedding would be, I would have done this years ago!! Are you kidding me with the coolness of it all? You get to a) wear a gorgeous princess gown, b) have people make and serve you dinner, c) never pay for a drink and c) have people tell you all night how pretty you are. (Oh ya, and marrying Mike was pretty darn cool too.)

Plus, here's the thing...it wouldn't have mattered if I had a big zit, kept my unibrow, and opted for a Mohawk-- because people would still have told me I looked good. It's like newborn babies...they usually look wild-eyed and gooey with their huge heads, but people squeal at their cuteness.

For those of you who just started following the blog, (like Mama Louise, Jim and Leslie, holla!) I've been engaged to my now husband, Mike for two wonderful years. (I can now say husband, holla!)

We met 6 1/2 years ago while working at WINK-TV in Fort Myers, Florida. Who knew all I'd have to do to find my husband is move to a state during the worst hurricane season on record, while dodging debris and cheating death during 4 major hurricanes. I say it was worth it!

We chose Jackson, Wyoming as our destination because I was born and raised in Wyoming, and I wanted to show Mike's Ohio family the most magnificent place on earth. If you've never been to the Grand Tetons, put it on your Bucket list, because it's incredible. As we wrapped up the ceremony, as if on cue, 2 beautiful bald eagles flew right above us. I loved the symbolism of the eagles flying together. (I was also glad we opted not to have our Chihuahua's in the wedding, because having my babies picked up and carried away by eagles would surely have ruined my night.)

There is so much to blog about, and I can't wait to share all my experiences with you. Weddings are incredibly wonderful and yet wacky wild at the same time. I made some great observations about life and family. Please stay tuned...I think you'll enjoy.

Now, I've got to go catch up on 2 weeks worth of lost sleep.


Evanchan!

Wowsers, it's here!

Just 4 days until the wedding, and I'm in full-on panic mode. Actually, not really. People keep telling me I'm the calmest bride they've ever met. I keep reading bridezilla horror stories, where the bride yells at everyone including the groom. I guess that's not my style. I'm saving that behavior and the 50 extra pounds I'll gain until after we get married.

Mike and I leave tomorrow, and I seriously can't believe it. I'm not what you'd call a particularly organized packer, so I'm a hot mess when leaving on vacation. I'll start one project, and then I remember the laundry in the dryer, or the dogs need to be walked, or the bills need to be paid. And imagine packing for a wedding! If you think you have nothing to wear now, try packing for the biggest event of your life. (Biggest event other than being born, but that was easy--I was naked.)

Today and tomorrow morning I've got tons of beauty spa treatments to go to, and it's so fun. As a television viewer who saw me without make-up on once told me, "You're not a natural beauty," so as you can imagine I have to get lots done. (But trust me, she didn't look like Cindy Crawford either.)

I probably won't be able to blog for a few days, so help me out. Please say a little prayer for:
-No rain
-No zits
-Good hair
-No drunk/embarrassing relatives
-No tripping on a ridiculously big wedding gown
-And for Mike to actually show up!

Shalom everybody!

Mrs. Soon-To-Be Evanchan

Men: Do you fit into one of these categories?

Going to the gym is an interesting experience. It's full of men trying to impress and hit on women who just want to work out while watching Oprah. The gym I went to in Fort Myers had a women's section with no men allowed, and it was fabulous. I knew I wasn't getting checked out while sweating on the treadmill.

I've come to realize there are 3 types of men that always exist at the gym...1) Mr. Stinky, 2) Mr. Show-off, and 3) Mr. Moaner. Sometimes men fit into more than one of these categories. Here is what I'd like to say to these men...

Dear Mr. Stinky,
Wow, you are the worst thing I've ever smelled, and I've even been to Europe! Your B.O. hit my nostrils like a freight train as soon as I walked in the door. If you find it strange that I kept smelling myself, it's because I was praying if I smelled my arm long enough, I'd smell less of you. I'm sure you were thinking, "I'll just shower after I'm done working out." Next time, shower before and after, because it's hard for me to run when I'm throwing up a little in my mouth. Thank you.

Dear Mr. Show-Off,
Our gym is air-conditioned, so I'm pretty sure it's not necessary for you to take off your shirt. Plus, here's the thing--if someone told you women really go for a hairy, pudgy belly, they were lying to you. You clearly hit your peak 20-years, and 20 6-packs ago, so please leave your shirt on.
Thank you.

Dear Mr. Moaner,
I know working out is tough sometimes, but if you're lifting something so heavy all you can do is scream and moan, it's too heavy. If I can hear your moaning over my I-Pod and the sound of 6 flat-screen TV's on various sports/news programs, you're being too loud. Sorry to break it to you...women aren't impressed, so only lift weights that don't make your veins pop out. Save those noises for....well, actually, never make those noises because you sound like a douche. Thank you.

Best,