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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Jacob vs. Edward=who's the better match?

Okay, I’m officially addicted to Twilight. Mike and I saw Eclipse last night, and I’ve been dreaming of Edward and Jacob ever since (what every woman should be doing on her honeymoon.) Women across this country are screaming “Team Edward!” or “Team Jacob!” as I exclaim “I want them both!”

I didn’t realize just how much this series is geared towards women. As we were giving our tickets to the ticket taker, he turned to Mike and laughed, “Oh, so she dragged you here.” Mike told him he likes Vampire movies, only not ones where the vampires are “sissies.”

Here’s the thing--every women dreams of two men loving her, and being caught in a love triangle-- and that’s exactly what’s happening for Bella. Edward is the good-looking, mysterious vampire. Jacob is the strong and hot Werewolf. I say both have pro’s and con’ let’s break down who is the better match.

  • Edward tells Bella he loves her and wants to marry her. You might think that’s pretty mature for a high school senior, only quite the contrary. He’s like 200 years old, but he never ages, so at 200, he’d better be ready to settle down.

    Jacob has the body of a roman god, and likes to show it off by never wearing a shirt. Hot to look at, but c’mon, he totally knows it! He doesn’t even wear a shirt when it’s snowing, which is one-way ticket to pneumonia.

    Edward never ages. Cool, except Bella is going to have to get a lot of Botox to keep up with her ageless beau. Eventually, Edward will probably get tired of her, and trade her in for a younger version.

    Jacob says things like, “Loving me would be as easy as breathing.” Sweet, but guys who usually talk like that are named Jake Pavelka and are the Bachelor. They also cry at the drop of a hat, and their relationships don’t last.

    Edward clearly knows the dangers of the sun, and has pale, silky smooth skin. He won’t have to worry about skin cancer, but he also melts in the sun. Not. Good.

    Jacob is willing to fight for the love of Bella, so he instantly turns into a Werewolf to fight off the Vampires. Super sweet, yet he rips all his clothes when he makes the transformation. I’m sure after a few years, Bella will get tired of sewing and mending his jean shorts.

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