It's official!

It's official!
David Stubbs Photography

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Parallel Parking: A Fate Worse Than Death?

I've realized there is something holding me back in the city. Something that gives me sweatier 'pits than normal. Something that has to change.

Luckily, this isn't me. Courtesy: snarfed.org
I can't parallel park. Okay, there, I said it out loud. I'm a 32 year old woman who has to have a man park my car for me, and trust me, I'm not proud.

The inability to do so is really affecting the way I live. There are certain parts of town I avoid. There are times where instead of driving, I choose to get into a stinky cab with a driver who's on a suicide mission. It's keeping me from meeting friends for dinner or drinks because I'm scared there won't be any parking options other than to parallel park. It's haunting my dreams!

Why? When I was 16 years old and had just gotten my driver's license, my boss at the clothing store I worked at insisted I drive her Lincoln Continental to run some errands. Have you ever seen a Lincoln Continental? They are the longest cars ever made. They actually put limos to shame. So I ran the errands, and then I had to find a parking spot on Capitol Avenue in Cheyenne, Wyoming. That meant I had to parallel park. Crap, I'd only done that once before getting my license. So I started backing in....and yep, it was ugly. I actually hit the car behind me. Ugh, oh. Then I pulled up, and hit the car in front of me. Crap. By now, a little audience of people had gathered on the street, laughing and pointing at me. (Seriously, why are there ALWAYS people watching you parallel park?)

So as you can imagine, I'm scarred for life. Only now, instead of having to park in Cheyenne, Wyoming I'm in Chicago, Illinois, the 3rd largest city in this country. It's almost a guarantee people will be walking by, watching, and cars behind me will be honking because I'm wasting their time. I might actually pass out from the sheer terror of it all.

Oy vay.

I've decided to face my fears, and learn how to do this seemingly impossible challenge. Stay tuned...I think this will definitely call for a video blog.

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