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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Country Tis of Thee

Wow, what a fun time! Last week, I went on a crazy long road trip with my mom that took us all over this country. First we drove from Chicago, Illinois to my parent's summer home in Jackson, Tennessee. We stayed in Jackson for a few days and then drove to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to pick up my stepdad at the airport. We then headed to Scranton, Pennsylvania for my Great Aunt's 90th birthday party which doubled as her 70th wedding anniversary. Then we headed back to Chicago for a total of 2,204 miles logged. Isn't that nuts? (Even more nuts is the fact that my mom first drove from Cheyenne, Wyoming and then back home.)

During my 2,204 miles across 6 states I made a few observations about life....(color you shocked, I know.)

--First off, there are a huge number of fast food restaurant bathrooms that are always out of hand soap. What's the deal? What bothers me more than not being able to wash my hands is thinking about how many people are preparing my food with dirty hands. Icky. (Although, I must not have been too bothered because I still ate A LOT of fast food. By the way, White Castle two days in a row is not a good idea. They aren't called sliders for nothing.)

-- The left-lane-only driver really boggles my mind. Whenever I'm in the left lane and I see cars behind me, I get out of their way as soon as I can. During this trip, I saw a lot of left lane drivers who seemed totally oblivious to the cars behind them. I even saw a mini van cruising down the left lane about 15 miles under the speed limit with a huge semi riding their tail. How did they not notice that? (Apparently when you buy a mini van you are obligated to drive either slow/erratic/oblivious. It's a law.)

Mom and me
-- There is nothing on the Cracker Barrel menu that doesn't rock.    

-- After seven hours in the car I get really giddy and start laughing until I cry. And snort. It ain't pretty.

-- As I've mentioned before, older women always fart when they go to the bathroom. What's with that? (Are they eating more fiber these days? Nervous travelers? Eating White Castle two days in a row?)

-- Finally, at the risk of offending some readers, I have to say it--a lot of country music is lame. Really, all you can come up with is she left you, your dog ran away and life isn't the same? (Maybe she left you because you complain too much. Perhaps the dog packed up his red handkerchief, tied it to a stick and said, "I'm out!")

What I can also say is this country is truly beautiful. From the rolling green hills of Pennsylvania to river cities like Pittsburgh and Cincinnati, we live in a place that totally rocks.

1 comment:

  1. Jeannie...

    I thought your post was so entertaining that I read it to my wife and we both laughed out loud. Great stuff.