We're going to the chapel....soon!

Here we are, just 65 days until the wedding!  After having to get on Xanax and find my "zen" place, I finally got our wedding invitations done.  Sure, some looked ghetto, some don't have the "M" on Michael or the "N" on Evanchan, and some say we're getting married in "Jackso" in instead of "Jackson."  But here's the thing, when you're making your own inviations and you get to 100+, you no longer care.  Some brides insist their invitations have deeply embossed roses on them, but me?  I just hope people are smart enough to read the invitations with several missing letters.  It's like a secret code!

The funny thing is, I actually wanted a small wedding, in fact, I even suggested we elope (yikes!)  My midwestern future mother-in-law looked at me like I had a third eyeball.  Mike also insisted we have a big wedding, and yet the other day, he casually said he now wishes we had decided to go smaller.

So here's the thing brides: You need to make the wedding exactly how you want, because your future hubby with have no role in the preparations.  Men really don't care if you berry colored tablecloths, square vase centerpieces, or a signature Huckleberry Margarita.  You will have to drag him to Men's Wearhouse on a Saturday with him complaining the whole way.  You'll have to politely remind him he needs to buy you a wedding band. 

But in the end, it will be so worth it when I'm enjoying our open bar and getting my groove on to some Miley Cyrus.  It will be a Party in the U.S.A.!

Is the customer always right?

Whoever said the customer is always right has clearly never worked in a 1) restaurant, 2) clothing store or a 3) TV station.  I've worked in all three, and let me tell you, people are a-holes.  (Sorry Mama Mays!)  People take out all their problems on you, apparently because it makes them feel better. 

Here's my opinion: it's the not the medium rare steak you're unhappy with, it's your 401k.  It's not the news anchor you don't like, it's your cheating husband.  And really, is the fact that the shirt is no longer on sale today, but it was yesterday going to make you that mad?  I prefer saving my anger for cabbies who nearly run me over, or my dog who poops on the floor.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I've taken a part-time job at a clothing store.  There is a woman who comes into our store about every week, and she'll ask you to figure out the final price of every sale item that's 40% off.  We could honestly spend all day telling her something is $12.99.  Her response, "Well, isn't it another 40% off?!?!"  We kindly explain each time, $12.99 is with the 40% off.
She'll even interpret your conversations with other customers just to find out how much something is, and if you tell her you'll be right with her, she yells in her thick accent, "Just Shut Up!"

Sheesh.

My bosses solution?  Kill the woman with kindness to land the $13.00 sale.  My solution?  Hide in a dressing room until she leaves.

Do dogs forget potty training?

You know it's going to be a bad day when you immediately step in poop.

Enough said, right? (I bet you're thinking, "Thank God she didn't post a picture of it!)  As soon as I got up this morning, I stepped in the brown stuff...and to make it more annoying, my phone started ringing at the same time.  Who's calling me at 8 a.m.?

The weird thing is that our dog Buckeye, has always been VERY potty trained, and this just started a couple of weeks ago.  How can a dog be potty trained for 5 years, and then revert back to being a puppy?  Oddly enough, he just turned 5 yesterday.  You probably celebrated your 5 year old's birthday with a party.  I celebrated ours by spanking him and rubbing his nose in poo.  Maybe real kids are better?

The funny thing is, he poops in the bathroom.  Perhaps because daddy misses and hits the floor, Buckeye thinks it's okay too!

If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.  Hopefully it's not my stepfather's advice, who always laughingly says, "Maybe you should just put him down."

Is it stressful planning a wedding? Yep

Mike's cousin got married this weekend in Pennsylvania, but we couldn't go because he already had his Bachelor party planned, and let's face it, we need to spend more money traveling like we need more crap in our tiny apartment.  Mike's mother says the wedding was beautiful, but the bride had a few stressful moments such as her favorite flowers not arriving because of the Iceland volcano.  Huh? Who knew that event affected so much.

People keep asking me if I've had a panic moment yet, and fortunately I haven't.  The wedding invitation debacle was stressful and annoying, but I never panicked.

That is, until last night.

My girlfriends and I decided to have my Bachelorette party the first weekend in June.  I started calling hotels and looking on-line, and?  There is not a room to be found in the greater Chicago area.  What's going on?  Apparently, the world's largest oncology conference is that weekend, and therefore, it's the busiest weekend in the Windy City.  Ever.

The good news?  My single girlfriends might land a rich doctor.  The bad news?  There will be at least 10 of us crammed into my 660-square foot apartment.  (Drink!)

High rise living=scary

Last night I thought I was going to die.  Sure, I've had this feeling before like the time photographer Shawn Pierce and I were covering a story in Podunk Indiana.  A father had killed one son, and tried to kill the other, and when Shawn and I were trying to get video, a woman pulled a shot gun on us.  Yep, she even cocked it, ensuring I was going to die in an Indiana corn field.  Another time when I was covering the arrest of an attempted murder suspect hiding in his baby mama's house, the baby mama came over and told me if her child was in any of the video, she'd personally find me and kill me slowly. 

Do you see why so many TV people are on Xanax?

Back to last night--most of the Midwest had really crappy weather, including tornadoes touching down in some areas.  As I was sitting in our high-rise (31 floors up), the building and our windows were swaying and shaking, the walls were creaking, even the pictures on our walls were moving.  Then the wind picked up our glass-top table on the balcony, lifted it up, and it came crashing back down.  Scary!

I suddenly wracked my brain, trying to remember if I'd ever covered a tornado hitting a city's downtown. Check!  Straight-line winds severely damaged the Regions Bank Building in Indianapolis a few years ago.

I kept asking myself, "What do I do?"  Stay inside the building and hope our glass wall doesn't shatter or go outside and risk being hit and killed by someone's breakfast table flying over their balcony.  I stayed inside.

Facebook Groups= Weird

If you're on Facebook, there's a good chance you've joined some "groups." They are a way for you to join with other people who share common interests or ideas, or perhaps you want to get something changed and show your support.

I'm in a few including "The Angela Buchman Fan Club" (She's the really hot meteorologist I worked with in Indy...I became a fan because she's as sweet as she is pretty, and that doesn't often happen in TV news.)  I'm also in, "I shook hands with a President of the United States"  (Bill Clinton-1993, and he totally winked at me too.)  And "Miss Wyoming Titleholders" (Yes, I'm totally living in the past with that one because those are my "glory days", a.k.a. the days without crow's feet or cellulite.)

This is what makes me laugh--there is now a group for every situation you can think of, and they are really detailed too.  Who needs to join these groups? 
* "I only check my voicemail to get rid of the little icon on the screen." (That's one reason...seeing if you missed an important phone call may be important too.)
* "If I could punch you without getting into trouble, believe me, I would."  (Ouch!)
Here's the strangest one... 
*  Dear Lord, this year you took my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze. You took my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett.  You took my favorite singer, Michael Jackson.  I just wanted you let you know my favorite President is Barack Obama. AMEN. (I don't even know what to say to that.)

Here's the group I'm starting...please join!
* I lost a job during the recession so I moved to Chicago to be with my fiance.  I took a job in retail, I get 50% off, and now I have really darling clothes.  I need to dust and vacumn today...maybe I'll clean the bathroom too.  How am I already out of coffee creamer?  Ugh, I guess a grocery store errand is also in the works.  I hope my downstairs neighbor turns down his really loud Spanish music.  AMEN.

I'm working again! (But I'm still broke)

I have a confession to make.  About a month ago, I took a part-time retail job.  I was nervous about saying anything, because do you remember the January debacle?  I practically shouted from every roof top and sky skraper that I'd gotten a corporate job, and then?  I lasted 9 days.  I quickly realized sitting at a desk all day long, trying to sell something people don't need or want is a slow.....way.....to.....die.

So here's what I've discovered.  A job you didn't plan on taking, or a career that isn't what you studied for in college, can sometimes bring you way more happiness than a job you think will.

Here's what I've also discovered-- I get 50% off and that's a problem. Yes it's a problem, because I'm spending all my money.  As you can see from my closets (plural), I need more clothes like I need another Chihuahua.  At first I told people, "It would be fiscally irresponsible for me not to buy clothes a half price."  Now, I realize I'm spending about 5 times more than I'm making.

Oops.

Can I register Mike and me for Ann Taylor Loft gift cards?