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It's official!
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Saturday, April 9, 2011

Big Trouble in Little China, or really Chicago

Okay, I'm in big trouble. In T-4 days, I'm taking the hardest test of my life, and I'm not at all prepared.

On Wednesday, I'm taking the GRE to try and get into Northwestern's Masters in Journalism program. When I started the process last August, I thought I had all the time in the world. Now it's becoming blatantly clear that I'm still on the first chapter in my math workbook and I'm struggling with what's considered the easy "Arithmetic" section. I haven't even touched Algebra, Geometry or Quantitative Comparisons. Oy vay.

Here's what's slowing me down...after reading each question I laugh and say "Who cares?" I'm never going to challenge a friend to drive to Springfield going 60 miles per hour while I drive 65 mph, so we can see how much quicker I get there. Plus, have these test takers ever seen Chicago traffic? Usually it's stop and go with a few bursts of 20 mph, so how do we figure that into the equation? Plus, if I've had coffee that morning, you know I'm going to have to stop and pee. And what if the lotto is big that day? You know I'm stopping to get a Powerball ticket.

Seriously, other than math teachers, have any of you ever needed to know the Order of Operations? You know, Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally which stands for the order you solve a problem--Parentheses, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition and Subtraction. I don't care about that, I'm just stuck on the excusing my dear Aunt Sally part. What she'd do, fart?

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