Not the Biggest Loser, the Biggest Weirdo!

There are people who come in and out of your life, and you don't think much about them. Perhaps it's the person working out next to you on the treadmill. Or the person standing behind you in line at the grocery. There's nothing memorable about them or your encounter, so you never think about them again. Then there are the people you meet and think, "That person is totally great blog material" and I can't wait to make fun of them. I totally met that woman about two hours ago.

This afternoon I went to get my hair done at Maxine Salon (which is the best by the way! Leslie for color, Evan for cuts. You can't go wrong.) I sat down and saw a woman behind me who looked really high maintenance. She brought tons of stuff to her appointment including two full-size pillows (I guess in case she had time to nap?), her expensive purse and get this...her assistant! Who needs a flippin' assistant at their hair appointment? This woman apparently.

I no sooner sat down, when this woman stood up and hit her head on the hair dryer. Okay, we've all been there, we hit our heads on something like the overhead bins on an airplane. It hurts for a second, and then you laugh with everyone else about how you do that every time. Then you get over it. Not this woman...she started yelling at her stylist for not warning her to watch her head, and she insisted he get her a bag full of ice. Then she...you'll never believe this...she made her assistant hold the ice pack on her head!! Really lady? The stylist told her he couldn't put color on her hair with the ice pack, but she quipped that she didn't care, it just hurt so bad!! (I'm guessing she hasn't given birth to a child.)

Oh, it gets better.

As I'm getting my hair done, this woman actually has the nerve to send her assistant over to me with this request, "Can you please keep it down, because you're being too loud." Seriously? Anyone who knows me knows I'm not loud unless I've had 3 glasses of Cabernet, and I gave up day drinking years ago. So in true Jeannie form, I started talking louder.

Still gets better.

The woman needs to get the color rinsed out of her hair, but instead of sitting in the chair like all the rest of us, she insisted on sitting on her knees and bending over the sink. (See picture) I couldn't believe it! (Her assistant totally caught me taking a pic too...I love it.)

I believe an important lesson was learned here today: No, money doesn't buy you happiness, but it does buy you a one-way ticket on the douche-bag bus. (I'm also guessing it's a single ticket, because this woman CAN'T be married. Men nip that kind of ridiculous behavior in the bud quickly.)