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Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Royal Wedding-Who Cares?

What will Kate be wearing? Will her hair be up or down? Will William drink at the reception? Why isn't he wearing a wedding band?

Oh my god, WHO CARES?

The whole world is all a flutter with the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton that takes place in 10 hours, 28 minutes and 56 seconds. Some are predicting this will be the most watched event...ever. Since it's on at 5 a.m. Chicago time, I can tell you one person who won't be watching it--this gal.

People Camped Out to Watch.
Seriously, what is our obsession with the royal family and this wedding? Why is there still a royal family? Do they make important government decisions? Help lower taxes? NO! If I were an English taxpayer, I 'd be pretty mad that my hard earned money was going towards this ridiculous event. (Because I'm pretty sure William's military salary isn't enough to cover a multi-million dollar event.)

Everyone is so excited right now, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the ruthless English paparazzi turns on Kate. As a little girl, I vividly remember seeing a picture of Princess Diana on the cover of a tabloid magazine with a close-up picture of the back of her legs, with the caption, "Lady Di has cellulite!" It went on to question how she could have that since she worked out daily. Let me tell ya, I started getting cellulite at 18 when I was barely 100 pounds. It's heredity people, not laziness.

My guess is it won't be long before the magazines are putting these headlines, "Is Wills and Kate's marriage in trouble?" "William caught looking at another woman." "Kate leaving William for brother Harry, because well, he's got more hair!"

Sheesh. As one friend pointed out, every news story begins with, "It's every little girl's dream to be a princess." Yes, but only if I get to sing all the time and have talking squirrels and birds around me. I'm not as much into living in gloomy London, having a snotbucket for a step mother-in-law and grandmother, and having to bow at my relatives.

(Side note: On you can type in your name to find out your royal name and's mine.
* Marchioness Jeannie Ticky Croftscock of Chicagopool
Okay, I don't like the middle name Ticky, and let's face it, the kids on the playground will tease me about Croftscock. So I typed in my married name and here are the results...
* Duchess Jeannie Arabella Evanchancock of Chicagopool
(Sheesh, I guess a girl can't catch a break.)

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