The holidays are upon us, and just like tradition, airports across the country are preparing for delays. Just like clockwork, ice and snow are on the way across most of the Mid-West and Rockies.
I flew back home to Chicago yesterday, and even though it was before the big rush, it was still awful. When I sat in my cramped seat that wouldn't recline, therefore I was practically eating the hair of the passenger in front of me, all I could think was, "Why do we do this?" Is mom's turkey that good?
Nowadays, you practically have to undress to get through security, and it takes 4 bins to hold all my stuff. My potentially dangerous Sweet Pea lotion must be less than 3 ounces, in it's own plastic bag, in it's own separate bin. Then there's ALWAYS someone behind me who's in a big rush, and pushes their bins into mine, thinking that will speed things up. What they don't know is that makes me go slower! (Insert a witch's cackle)
Then I get behind an old man who was exploring his "inner pirate". He has big, gold hoop earrings, and apparently metal in every pocket. So does he remove all the metal the first time he beeps? Of course not!!! It takes three more times!
Also, why do airport bathrooms always stink?
Why do people wait to eat their onion/poop sandwich when we get on the plane?
And why does the guy next to me always have bad breath but insists on talking the whole time?
I'd better go, I need to pack for Ohio!
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