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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dancing With the "Stars"--My Observations

Anyone watch Dancing With The Stars last night?  I know, I know, I criticized the new cast, yet I'm still watching.  How is that possible?  Because I'm a sucker!  (And so are 21 million other people who watched, making it last night's ratings winner.)

Every season I curse this show, because it takes up so much of my time.  It's on 2 nights a week and 3 hours total.  But I've got it down to a science...I record the shows and watch them later so I can fast forward through 1) commercials 2) Brooke Burke's awkward interviews and 3) stars I'm not really into (Sorry Brandy and David Hasselhoff.)

The show has only just started, but here are my observations thus far:
* Reality TV "Star" Audrina Patridge will do well because she's too dumb to get nervous
* Margaret Cho will be kicked off tonight because her attempts at being funny don't cover up the fact that she's a really bad dancer who shouldn't wear Lycra
* Mike "The Situation" will go from being a cocky reality TV "Star" to getting kicked off early because he can't possibly have fans.  At least any fans who are smart enough to figure out on-line voting
* Jennifer Grey will do well because she's Baby from Dirty Dancing and she's already shedding tears.  Crying = votes
* Once he gets kicked off, David Hasselhoff will turn to drugs and alcohol once again after realizing women really aren't into him and his 70's disco-style dancing which stopped being cool in, well, 1979.
* Brooke Burke will continue her awkward interviews, thus proving that good looks and big boobs trump wit

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