Anyone watch Dancing With The Stars last night? I know, I know, I criticized the new cast, yet I'm still watching. How is that possible? Because I'm a sucker! (And so are 21 million other people who watched, making it last night's ratings winner.)
Every season I curse this show, because it takes up so much of my time. It's on 2 nights a week and 3 hours total. But I've got it down to a science...I record the shows and watch them later so I can fast forward through 1) commercials 2) Brooke Burke's awkward interviews and 3) stars I'm not really into (Sorry Brandy and David Hasselhoff.)
* Reality TV "Star" Audrina Patridge will do well because she's too dumb to get nervous
* Margaret Cho will be kicked off tonight because her attempts at being funny don't cover up the fact that she's a really bad dancer who shouldn't wear Lycra
* Mike "The Situation" will go from being a cocky reality TV "Star" to getting kicked off early because he can't possibly have fans. At least any fans who are smart enough to figure out on-line voting
* Jennifer Grey will do well because she's Baby from Dirty Dancing and she's already shedding tears. Crying = votes
* Once he gets kicked off, David Hasselhoff will turn to drugs and alcohol once again after realizing women really aren't into him and his 70's disco-style dancing which stopped being cool in, well, 1979.
* Brooke Burke will continue her awkward interviews, thus proving that good looks and big boobs trump wit
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