The other day the elevator stopped on the 15th floor and a man got in. He immediately pulled an apricot from his bag, and began eating it with such desperation I thought he must have just gotten off of a 15-day hunger strike. He slurped the juices like a little kid slurps the last of his milkshake. It was so gross. As we were getting off, I turned to Mike and said, "Wow, did you enjoy that apricot as much as he did?"
And couldn't Mr. Apricot inhale his juicy fruit after he got off the elevator? He could save that kind of grossness for his 15-minute cab ride. The cabbie wouldn't hear a thing over the screams of people trying to get out of his way while he cruises down Michigan Avenue at 90 mph.