Looking for a.....

In my quest to find the perfect job, I've posted my resume just about everywhere. Everyday, I get updates from several websites like Careerbuilder and Monster, letting me know what jobs are available that match my interests and experience.
Here's what Monster recently came up with:

1. Therapy Specialist in Sacramento (I hear Sacramento is beautiful this time of year, but I'm never moving again!)
2. Superior Tax Manager (Sure, I'm superior, but I don't know much about taxes!)
3. Technical Operations Lead-Corporate Internet Group (English please!)

Hence why the job hunt is so frustrating! So if you find the "Looking for a former broadcaster in the Chicago area who doesn't want to work weekends or holidays, wants to earn six figures, and has to have really cute shoes," let me know!

P.S. Sorry to all the people living on floors 30-40 for the fire alarm going off last night. Who knew a frozen pizza would be so hard to cook???