Checking out at the grocery=torture

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I realized today what absolutely drives me nuts about going grocery shopping: it's checking out. Do you ever feel like the check out line is really a convention of stupid people? Seriously, brain function stops and it takes WAY longer to check out than it should.

Today, I decided our milk is smelling a little funky, so I went to the store. Everything was going great, until I went to check out. I found a line that wasn't too bad...just one woman with a handful of groceries, and a man with about 10 frozen dinners and snacks. I thought the line would move quickly, but then the woman had trouble with her credit card. The machine wouldn't read it, so she asked the cashier to manually enter it. The cashier left for a couple of minutes, and when she came back, said "I'm sorry, we can't enter it manually. Can you use another card?"

The woman, with a diamond ring the size of Kentucky, said, "Well, why not? I want to see a manager." Ugh. The manager started coming over, but then a shoplifter diverted his attention. I wanted to get out line, but I was trapped by two people behind me. Once the manager came back, he said it was against store policy to enter it manually. The woman complained, saying, "The Jewel store always does it for me!" After a lengthy explanation, the woman finally gave in and tried another card. Really lady? You don't notice the line forming behind you, and couldn't have used your other card, oh say, 10 minutes ago?

I thought the madness was over, but then I realized she wanted her groceries to be on two different transactions, so we had to wait for her to swipe her card again, and then get step-by-step instructions about signing the screen, etc. Apparently this was her first time using a credit card after the year 2000.

Finally, she finished and left, and then it was the man's turn. Suddenly he pulled out a pocket full of coupons and then argued about the price of EVERYTHING. Didn't see that one coming since, well, he's a man.  He must be single.

Seriously people, there should be a special island we can send all of you to.