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About 30 minutes into the show, I start hearing a weird noise. Like someone breathing loudly. Then it got louder...and louder...and pretty soon, I realized that very large man was snoring up a storm. It wasn't long before everyone else in the theater was hearing it too, and we all got the giggles. It was the loudest snoring I've ever heard! This man sounded like he was choking on his uvula, that little dangly thing in the back of his throat.
Suddenly, I'm facing the realization that this man may end up snoring for the rest of the movie. What do we do?? Finally, a very brave movie-goer got up from his seat, went over to the man, woke him up and whispered something in his ear. I can only imagine what he said.
That's the thing about theaters...you're at the mercy of other people. Your viewing experience can be greatly altered by some idiot who also decides to see the same flick.
One time, I remember sitting by the most god-awful smelling man in the world. I kept smelling my arm to try and get his scent out of my nostrils. It was a long two hours. Another time, I must have sat next to a woman with eczema, because she just kept scratching and scratching herself the entire show. Pretty soon, I was starting to itch.
Have you ever sat near the loud woman who likes to talk back to the screen, and gives warnings to the characters, like, "Oh no, don't go into that room!" So annoying.
Or the people who like to talk. I mean c'mon, you surely can shut up for an hour and 30 minutes, right? Oh, I guess not.
How about the person who sits RIGHT next to you, when there are 50 other open seats in the theater?
What about that guy who chews popcorn with his mouth wide open?
Wow, I never realized how many annoying people there are in the world. Thank goodness I'm perfect.
One time a guy cooked for me on our third date. He suggested watching a movie afterward, his favorite, of course. It was Days of Thunder with Tom Cruise...a pretty crappy movie. Well, he had memorized the entire movie and recited lines to me before the characters said them. Needless to say, no more dates. But then again, this same guy talked about himself in the 3rd person using a nickname he gave himself. Yes, "The Gibster," I'm talking about you!!!
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